Very Confused Newbie...

[FatMan]

Hi everyone, this seems to be the best martial Arts forum to ask my questions and be a member of!

- I don’t know if this is the right area to ask this question, but there isn’t a general martial arts section so…?

Anyways, I need your opinions on which martial art would best suit my situation…

I hate fighting, and in my whole life (20) I’ve been in NO fights, but have come very close – no time has it been my fault.
I’ll give you an example; I was sat on a bench and this guy comes up to me, saying I’ve been staring at him; he pulls out this knife and starts waving it around.

Luckily I managed to calm him down, but since then, I’ve thought to myself that I wish I’d handled it differently. Stuck up for myself instead of being a coward and looking a t**t in front of my friends.

-I don’t actually want to REALLY hurt anyone, but I would like to make them think again about getting up off the floor and having another go.

-I’m also very busy so need something that’s moderately quick to learn, (I’ve read around the forum that a MA takes years to master – so maybe one that you pros consider limited would be sufficient for what I need?)

Oh, yeah, and being a bit of a fat b***ard (lol), I need something where a lot of jumping isn’t needed.

Thanks for any help.

[Lizard]

Well it depends on whats available in your area.

Ive heard good things about Combatives but there probably arent any places near you that teach it.

Things like: muay thai (thai boxing, similar to kick boxing) and brazillian jiujitsu also have some self defense benefit and are not too difficult to find.

But it doesnt sound like you really need any martial arts training, you obviously have some talent for avoiding fights.

"Luckily I managed to calm him down, but since then, I’ve thought to myself that I wish I’d handled it differently. Stuck up for myself instead of being a coward and looking a t**t in front of my friends. "

You are wrong, you avoided a possibly life-threatening situation. You handled it in the best way possible and you should be proud of yourself. If you had "stuck up for yourself" you could have seriously injured or killed.

[IPON]

Well here is some advice I would give you. First, you were able to deescalate a situation....SMART!! I know peers can make you seem like a wimp, but let's talk about "reality" what would you have done, you probably would not REALLY hurt anyone (no offence)...but YOU probably would have been really cut. Even if the other person did not have training with a weapon you are always at a disadvantage. If you did fight and get cut or worse, Guess what, then your friends would have said "dude why didn't you just let it go you were stupid". You first have to remove the ego, machismo, etc.

A win can be defined is any time you can walk away..period. fighting outside the ring is not a badge of honor it is just the reality of life.

Regarding being busy, part of martial art is dedication in and outside of classes. There are styles that you can learn quick, but there are none that can be used quickly. Wing Chun has 3 forms I could teach you all 3 in less than a month and you would be no better than before the lessons. it would be like buying a new car with no oil or gas, great you have the new car but you don't know how to start it. So like anything else Caveat emptor -let the buyer beware - you get what you pay for - there are peopel I am sure who would promote to BB in a year or less if the money was right......but your goal is to learn

The conditioning will come by association with training and diet, which will help with the weight loss. This would be true for any style including McDojos

Lastly regarding the style tell us where you live and what is available to you. Personally, I always recommend starting with a boxing gym. Get a traininer and pace yourself and then get a little more in shape. After a few months start looking int other MAs after you have done research on teh style and the instructor. The hand skills you will learn will be invaluable, plus starting MA classes while out of shape is not easy and if you have to sit out or slow down the class it can start getting in you head people have quit becuase of this....Don't quit!!


Anyway, I hope this was helpful

[Thai Bri]

I also agree that you handled the situation well. But it is good to be able to fight in case de-escalation does not work.

So, you want an art that doesn't take long to learn, will give you an option to win without totally disabling/killing someone and will suit your large frame. I also presume that you need something fairly well distributed, to make sure there is a club near you.

I'd recommend Judo to you. It is cheap, you can learn how to deal with people by throwing and tripping them, and you will learn to grapple. There are clubs all over the place. Porkers (no offence, "I have a friend" who is aporker too..... ) can do well in it also.

But the training is tough. You will have to undergo an initial shock to your system, but it will toughen you up mentally. After an initial few weeks you will develop mat fitness and self esteem.

The full syllabus does take a long time to learn well, but you can develop a small number of favourite and reliable techniques relatively quickly.

There are many other options, and many other things that other arts can offer. But Judo, from what you have said, is the one I'd recommend for you.

Good luck!

[adacas]

I have been one to believe that a non violent man is a great man indeed. It takes a bit of wisdom to see that violence is not the only route and is also in fact the easy route. It take a great deal of patience and tolerance to do the non violence route and so is harder. I on the other hand like to fight and so am not a great man but I do know how to deescalate a fight especially if I am outmatched or outnumbered. In the case of the guy with the knife if you did not try to calm him down and instead tried to take him on you would be dead. The odds of an unarmed man winning a fight against a man with a knife, experienced or not, are not good. You did the right thing and I honor that. As for training in a MA it would be beneficial on more levels than making you a badass on the playground. You will get into better shape and you will learn that while you are being taught to beat the hell out of someone the teacher will almost always tell you to go the route you already took by avoiding any conflicts. For somebody of your body type I would suggest boxing as you will not have to do any high kicks and also perhaps some juijutsu. Joint locks are always a must if you ask me and are good for controlling a situation.