Originally posted by Wolfeye589
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Not For The Easily Offended! You've Been Warned!
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Registered User
- Mar 2008
- 83
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"Be practical as well as generous in your ideals. Keep your eyes on the stars, but remember to keep your feet on the ground." --Teddy Roosevelt
"Don't hit at all if you can help it; don't hit a man if you can possibly avoid it; but if you do hit him, put him to sleep." --Teddy Roosevelt
Originally posted by Tom Yum View PostBeing in southern Mo. you're gonna have to trade in that ride, atleast for the gas mileage...
http://crazyabouttv.com/Images/beverlyhillbillies.jpg
Rolling deathtrap.
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For moms... LOL
[YOUTUBE]<object width="425" height="355"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/IGoelj7l668&hl=en"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/IGoelj7l668&hl=en" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="355"></embed></object>[/YOUTUBE]
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Compliments of AEIOU...
A cabbie picks up a Nun.
She gets into the cab, and notices that the VERY handsome cab driver won't
stop staring at her.
She asks him why he is staring.
He replies:
"I have a question to ask you but I don't want to offend you."
She answers,
"My son, you cannot offend me. When you're as old as I am and have been a
nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about
everything. I'm sure that there's nothing you could say or ask that I would
find offensive."
"Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me."
She responds,
"Well, let's see what we can do about that: #1, you have to be single and
#2, you must be Catholic."
The cab driver is very excited and says, "Yes, I'm single and Catholic!"
"OK" the nun says. "Pull into the next alley."
The nun fulfills his fantasy, with a kiss that would make a hooker blush.
But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying.
"My dear child," says the nun, "why are you crying?"
"Forgive me but I've sinned. I lied and I must confess, I'm married and I'm
Jewish."
The nun says, "That's OK.
My name is Kevin and I'm going to a Halloween party."
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Since prompted:
I was due for an appointment with the gynecologist later in the
week. Early one morning, I received a call from the doctor's
office to tell me that I had been rescheduled for that morning at
9:30 am.
I had only just packed everyone off to work and school, and it was already around 8:45 am.
The trip to his office took about 35 minutes, so I didn't have any time to spare.
As most women do, I like to take a little extra effort over hygiene
when making such visits, but this time I wasn't going to be able
to make the full effort.
So, I rushed upstairs, threw off my pajamas, wet the washcloth
that was sitting next to the sink, and gave myself a quick wash in that area to make sure I was at least presentable.
I threw the washcloth in the clothes basket, donned some clothes, hopped in the car and raced to my appointment.
I was in the waiting room for only a few minutes when I was called
in.
Knowing the procedure, as I'm sure you do, I hopped up on the
table, looked over at the other side of the room and pretended
that I was in Paris or some other place a million miles away.
I was a little surprised when the doctor said, "My, we have made
an extra effort this morning, haven't we?"
I didn't respond.
After the appointment, I heaved a sigh of relief and went home.
The rest of the day was normal . Some shopping, cleaning, cooking.
After school when my 6 year old daughter was playing, she called
out from the bathroom, "Mommy, where's my washcloth?"
I told her to get another one from the cupboard.
She replied, "No, I need the one that was here by the sink, it had
all my glitter and sparkles saved inside it."
NEVER going back to that doctor ever!!
Disclaimer: This is not my tale
A
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