Tweet
I’ve been a pretty regular cannabis user for years in the form of vapour mainly. Some months daily. Other months sober but I always got back into it. I’ve tried moderation. It doesn’t work for me. As soon as I get a taste of it I want the whole damn thing and it becomes neurotic. In the past few months I’ve managed to not inhale any cannabis by using edibles.
At first my main concern was lung and voice health which I am happy to say I am doing much better on that front. But by uncovering this neurotic pattern of behaviour I’ve noticed that it’s not just lung and voice health that I want. I want emotional maturity and the courage to deal with my feelings consciously. No more crutches. So I dropped edibles as well a few days ago.
I am currently going through pretty gnarly withdrawals so any tips on that are welcome. Today I was teaching in the morning and in the afternoon I wanted to be productive and get my mind off of those withdrawals but instead I laid down on my couch and observed my breath for 4hrs straight. I obviously didn’t fall asleep cause I literally cannot right now. Hard as heck but hey that’s what I wanted right.
In that time I uncovered another neurotic thought pattern. I guilt trip and beat myself up constantly for failing to be productive and do the shit I want to be doing to achieve my goals. But maybe laying down and fucking doing nothing was exactly what I needed.
I had moments of sobriety in the past but this one feels different. I feel like I am at a crossroad and I want to keep myself accountable.
At first my main concern was lung and voice health which I am happy to say I am doing much better on that front. But by uncovering this neurotic pattern of behaviour I’ve noticed that it’s not just lung and voice health that I want. I want emotional maturity and the courage to deal with my feelings consciously. No more crutches. So I dropped edibles as well a few days ago.
I am currently going through pretty gnarly withdrawals so any tips on that are welcome. Today I was teaching in the morning and in the afternoon I wanted to be productive and get my mind off of those withdrawals but instead I laid down on my couch and observed my breath for 4hrs straight. I obviously didn’t fall asleep cause I literally cannot right now. Hard as heck but hey that’s what I wanted right.
In that time I uncovered another neurotic thought pattern. I guilt trip and beat myself up constantly for failing to be productive and do the shit I want to be doing to achieve my goals. But maybe laying down and fucking doing nothing was exactly what I needed.
I had moments of sobriety in the past but this one feels different. I feel like I am at a crossroad and I want to keep myself accountable.
Comment