Byvernia Edging sex scene

[JasonByrne]

So! I got Bluebird's permission to write a sex scene for our favourite mouthy bunny. I think I've parsed everything so I just need some final feedback before submitting it.

[LanestIo]

Took a look at it. Grammar is good. Spelling was good. I had no real problem following the scene. Made notes on the parsers you were looking for.

[Sanidly]

I noticed the scene could benefit from a bit more emotional build-up before the release, just to make the tension hit harder. In a sex vn, that gradual teasing and pacing really helps keep players engaged, so something like a back-and-forth or some internal struggle from the character could add impact. The descriptions are already solid, they just need that extra push to really sell the edging.