Onlyfans what do I do

[JasonByrne]

Hi everyone. I’ve been going back and forth about posting this because I honestly don’t know if I’m overreacting.

About two years ago, I found out that my partner had an OnlyFans account and had been paying for content. I discovered it while we were planning a vacation together, which made it even more shocking because I thought everything between us was fine. When I confronted him, he admitted that he had been curious and wanted to see other women naked. He said it wasn't emotional and that it didn't mean anything to him.

The problem is that it meant something to me. I felt hurt, embarrassed, and like my trust had been broken. Ever since then, I've struggled with wondering where the line is between porn and paying for personal content. To me, paying specific people feels much more personal than just watching random videos online.

We've stayed together, but I still think about it from time to time. Sometimes I wonder if I'm making too big of a deal out of it, and other times I feel like my feelings are completely justified. He insists it was just curiosity and says it won't happen again, but I still have a hard time letting it go.

Has anyone else dealt with something similar? Were you able to rebuild trust, or is this something that would be a dealbreaker for you? I'd really appreciate hearing different perspectives because I don't know if I'm being too sensitive or if my concerns are valid.

[karissatbeltran]

I’d tell him clearly what crosses the line for me and ask what he’s willing to change. If trust feels shaken, a calm talk or couples therapy can help rebuild things.

[tedgillispie]

I’d be gutted too, and I’d want a real talk about what counts as crossing the line. For me, understanding how huge the OnlyFans market is actually helped me frame it as more of a commercial impulse than a personal betrayal, but the hurt still mattered. I’d spell out what feels respectful to you now and see if he’s willing to stick to those boundaries going forward.