Ninja info help, PLEAZZ

[Defiant Ninja]

help, please
I'm 5'9" and 190lbs, I have no martial arts experiance and if anyone could please give me info about Ninjitsu. Tell me everythingyou know. I am clueless...........I'm freaking out!!! BTW, I especially need training tips, online websites with martial arts training and a list for a week long diet schedule. For me, dieting doesn't work 'less I have a schedule , but if at all possible, have it be very detailed.
Thank you very much for reading and replying

[Thai Bri]

Here are a few tips that you can do on your own, before being inducted into a secret Ninja club.

1) - practice being invisible. If you don't wash for a month, and then walk the streets no one will see you. You can even ask strangers for money, and they will walk on by as if nothing has happened.

2) - Ninjas must know how to climb walls. You can initially practice in the elevator of large buildings. Dont forget to dress in black and wear them big toe slippers. Push yourself up to the wall of the lift and raise your amrs and legs up and down as it moves. Eventually you will be able to do it without being in the elevator. Probably.

3) - Assasination is a key skill area, and you will score low marks if you have not killed any strangers for money. Posion is a good idea. Go to any restaurant. When someone from the next table goes to the toilet, try pooing in their dinner. If they eat it and die you win extra points.

4) - Ninja training is very secret. You don't see adverts for it at the local sports centre! Oh no! But having the ability to contact Ninja masters is key. Try designing and making your own sandwich board with "I want to be a Ninja because I am an anus" and walking around densely populated areas. Add your home address and phone number to it. Believe me, you will be contacted by many people.

So, that is a rundown of one or two things you can do before your real training starts. Make sure that you do not get any psychiatric help in the immediate future, as this may make you mature a little. And then you will lose the dream.

[Defiant Ninja]

oooooooooooooo.k.

??
um, thanks...I guess.
Though that was very enlightening (especially the pooping in someone elses dinner), but I was actually looking for a serious reply that wasnt a joke. You know, from someone who is training in ninjitsu. Thanks anyway...I guess

[Thai Bri]

I'm afraid I cannot tell you whether or not I trained in Ninjitsu, as they made me swear an oath of secrecy when I trained in Ninjitsu.

The pooping in the dinner is a recognised assassination technique. My arse is certified as a deadly weapon.

[osopardo]

This link will lead you to the definitive authoritative source of information on the web regarding ninjutsu. Good Luck!

http://www.realultimatepower.net/

[osopardo]

My arse is certified as a deadly weapon.

ninja, please!

[m.artist]

??
um, thanks...I guess.
Though that was very enlightening (especially the pooping in someone elses dinner), but I was actually looking for a serious reply that wasnt a joke. You know, from someone who is training in ninjitsu. Thanks anyway...I guess

http://www.ninjutsu.com/home.shtml

merry christmas

[osopardo]

Here's another...

http://www.ashidakim.com/

[Builderofmuscle]

Uhmm.... I don't know but like... aren't all martial arts pretty much the same? Theyall have the basic kicks and punches.. All that matters in the end is who wins the fight.

[Hikage]

Uhmm.... I don't know but like... aren't all martial arts pretty much the same?

No.

They all have the basic kicks and punches..

No.

All that matters in the end is who wins the fight.

Yes.

-Hikage

[Thai Bri]

Really Ninjitsu is just a heap of shite-Hikage

Yes.

........................

[Broadsword2004]

Hmmm, well, I don't know fully about that, because of that Master Hatsuumi in Japan, but from my understanding, he is the only REAL authority on ninjutsu right now, as no one else really does it right, at least from what I have read. Who knows.

If you really wanna know about ninja, read up on them and then also read up on why some people say they are a bunch of B.S. and make your own decision. Personally I think they were real, I mean why not??? It wouldn't have been unrealistic for there to have been clans of people who were assassins that practiced stealth back in feudal Japan.

Stealth is a real thing. However, there are no specific, mechanical techniques for how to move in stealth. It's just something you yourself have to practice for hours and hours and hours on end to master. And then the ninja were masters of the weapons of the period.

But from what real ninja are supposed to be, if you have any impression that you'll be doing flying kicks all over the place and learning special "secret" killing techniques, you're probably gonna be in a for a rude awakening.

Ninjitsu was the overall arts of the ninja clans. It involved their martial arts, hyponotism arts, interrogation techniques, and the art of how to move stealthily across terrain. Ninja were trained to sketch maps and pictures of areas, and how to make various potions and bombs (like smoke bombs that could be thrown into a fire when leaving a building). They were trained extensively in martial arts, and their moral ideas were completely different from those of the samurai (supposedly).

Also, do not think ninja were "unbeatable." Samurai and ninja killed each other all throughout Japan's history.

Regardless of whatever ninja were, whether they were just samurai that were trained in stealth arts and somehow we got this modern view of the samurai as noble warriors and the ninja as these secret clans of assassin people, or if the latter really was true, or heck, even in the samurai were not too noble, but the ninja were clans of assassin people, there was SOMETHING in Japanese history that the modern ninja idea is based off of. That would make sense anyway, as assassinations always occur in warring civilizations.

So I believe the ninja were real here.

My suggestion would be, if you really wanna learn stealth stuff, just study a decent martial art, join the military, and then become a special forces guy or Navy SEAL, or something like that. They'll teach you stealth to, but you'll have to really use it for real.

And remember, lots of civilizations had stealthy assassin people. Rome I am sure had them, we have them today, the Native Americans were very stealthy in their forest movement, and china had them too. They just never became as famous as the ninja.

[dark dragon]

I am able to help you on your journey into ninjitsu, for I am quite Qualified. I have been trainning for ninjitsu all my life. send me a messege.

[stinky666]

I am needing alot of help. I need for someone, or a couple of people to help me with my forum, it is about ninjitsu, and other martial arts...... it is mainly about Ninjitsu though.... i would just like toask if anyone is interested in helping me add information to it, then please go to my given website, and make a post saying you have come to help.....thank you

http://invisibleninja.proboards29.com

[Ninpo Ikan]

And remember, lots of civilizations had stealthy assassin people. Rome I am sure had them, we have them today, the Native Americans were very stealthy in their forest movement, and china had them too. They just never became as famous as the ninja.

Exactly, the Thuggees in the Middle East were greatly feared by the British, for they had superb stealth skills and were masters of strangulation techniques. The "true" Thuggees, worshippers of Kali-Ma, were forbidden to spill blood thus they devised a variety of strangulation techniques and windpipe attacks, not to mention the garrotte and a few other nifty tricks.