The Key For Success

[eXcessiveForce]

While studying a subject of great interest to me I decided I should post a revelation of sorts I have had.

As many of you know I teach martial arts. However, I do many other things as well. I am finishing my MBA program this year, I own my own business, a full Gym, Martial arts and Tanning Facility, and I am an independent financial planner. To simplify all that, I am busy.

One common theme that I deal with throughout all the things I do and have done in my life is that of making people successful. I have spent a lot of time trying to identify the things that make people successful and I wanted to share with you what my thoughts are on this.

It comes down to Discipline.

Whether it is martial arts training, school, or your relationships everything seems to come down to discipline. Over the last 10 years I have had many students explain to me their reasons why they couldn't do something, From things such as being too out of shape, not strong enough, not fast enough, not enough time to train, etc. These are all excuses, the interesting thing is In financial planning I ran into the same kinds of excuses, I'm too busy to plan, I don't make enough money to save, I can't afford to put money away. Then in school I encountered the same excuses, I'm too busy, I don't have the time to study, I'm too old, I'm not old enough. etc.

One day I caught myself using these dreaded killers of success. So I started analyzing what I said and how I did things. I just don't have time to train today was the first thing I found, I had said it a few times in the last few months that I could remember. I don't have the money to do "this", I don't have time to do "that" I'm too tired to do the dishes tonight.

These are all excuses an they relate directly back to discipline. Everything in life you do is your choice, You choose to get up in the morning, what you will wear, what you will eat, and what attitude you will bring into the world. Approaching each day from a certain mind set will get you a certain set of results. And this is what leads to the problem. Some people look at the results they recieve as things that happen to them rather than the things they create.

Every time I have not worked out It was because I chose not too. Everything I couldn't do something It was because I determined I was not willing to pay the price.

The next time you say I can't do that, ask yourself, is it can't or won't. Success of failure often comes down to this.

Even in the ring, a fighter gets knocked down and decides he can't get up? Was he really incapable of getting up or did he decide not to get up.

When Cardio time in training comes up, have you said I can't do any more, or was it really I won't do any more.

I don't have time to eat healthy, Or is it, I am not going to take the time to eat healthy.

If you aren't getting the results you want in life, double check what you are saying to yourself.

Are you making choices that are taking you away from being successful, Are these excuses starting to erode your discipline to do what must be done?

Every time I find myself procrastinating on something, I ask myself, why are you chosing not to do this. And ususally I have no good reason except I'm being lazy and not disciplined.

So next time you procrastinate I hope you think of this and are able to do what you need to do.

[AsAManThinketh]

I agree wholeheartedly with what you have said.

I see it too often in my life as well, where people would rather tell themselves that they can't do something as if that alone justifies them not doing it.

Then there are people who constantly seek approval and praise for trivial things and thoughts, and would use discouragement or low self-esteem as their excuse as to why they can't.

I have had to explain to a young man a few months older than myself that his insecurity shows very often, and he seemed so suprised that it even showed at all (he likes to talk about fights he's been in, or scared his opponents out of). He then went on to tell how his childhood was hard and he was raised by 3 women and so he feels the need to be nurtured. I told him that if he is going to function as a man he has to quit lying to himself and start taking responsibility for his decisions. There's no I can't from him, normally he'll start something and then quit it (for justified personal preference reasons).

Someone else close to me made a few comments within a couple day timespan about how other people were effecting her self esteem. I told her that self-esteem is a self influenced issue and not an external influenced issue. Things like not getting employee of the month or seeing someone else receive flowers made her feel low self-esteem. We should all know that we are responsible for our own self esteem. It is not how someone else makes you feel, it is how you allow others to affect you that determines your self esteem. There is a point where living up to other's expectations is just selling yourself short. You could go far beyond their wildest dreams if you just dare.

Then there are those who don't understand when a person actually has discipline. Sure they watch Rocky and think how great it must feel to be a champion, but when they see someone actually training they call it not having a life, and being wierd, and being anti-social, or self-centered. They totally avoid the discipline and feel better for making it seem not desireable.

I recently read an analogy that I liked from a martial arts training book. In summary it basically says that there are 3 types of people in this world: sheep, wolves, and sheepdogs. Wolves hunt and prey on the sheep, sheepdogs lead and protect the sheep, and sheep just sit around in denial thinking that their life will never chainge and nothing will ever happen to them.
I guess that some things will never change.

On that note, I would like to take this opportunity to say well done and keep up the good work to all the sheepdogs out there.

[Tom Yum]

Then there are those who don't understand when a person actually has discipline. Sure they watch Rocky and think how great it must feel to be a champion, but when they see someone actually training they call it not having a life, and being wierd, and being anti-social, or self-centered. They totally avoid the discipline and feel better for making it seem not desireable.

I think most of us on the board have heard this before.

The average person doesn't want to go through physical training because the pain of enduring temporary discomfort is greater than the reward.

This is life, isn't it?

[gregimotis]

To say that the problem of training consistently comes down to discipline is absolutely correct; however we all need some sugar to sweeten the pill sometimes. How about sharing some strategies for helping maintain the discipline over the long run?
I’ve started by sharing some thoughts on keeping students motivated, but I wouldn’t want to just limit it to other people – keeping on when you just don’t feel like it is a struggle we all face every day – anybody got any good head games you play with yourself?




Find out why your students are here and make them declare their goals.

As an instructor, one of my primary jobs is cheerleading, but if I don’t know what my students goals are, how can I do that job effectively? In our fitness classes, I regularly take people aside and flat out ask them what their goal is; “why are you here” if they don’t give a straight answer, I prod a bit. Often, I can guess the reason (weight loss is the most common) but sometimes I guess wrong, it’s important to find out for sure in order to help your students move toward that goal.
Even more important than my knowing what they want is forcing them to say it out loud. Once a person has said “I want to lose this belly and get in shape like I’ve been meaning to for years but never made the time” then that person has personally committed. They will remember that commitment when they decide whether to come to class and they will have a harder time resisting me when I nag ( err, I mean remind) them to come in more often, and they will remember it when I am pushing the class hard on a Saturday afternoon when they really aren’t sure they wanted to be there in the first place. Once they have told me what they want, I have become a team member in their struggle rather than just that guy at the gym.

This tactic works just as well in technique classes as fitness and whether I am an instructor or a fellow student. – the goals may be different is all. When you know what they want, and they know that you know, then the two of you are in it together and can help one another.

[osopardo]

Agreed, discipline is a very important part of the equation but I've found that motivation is even more important.

If one has a burning desire to do something (and here I'm specifically referring to the process of doing, not to the goal of achieving, in other words; the journey, not the destination) there's no obstacle that can keep you from reaching the goal.

I remember preparing for my first black belt test; huffing and puffing and driping sweat and groaning - sometimes dizzily staggering through line drills like a drunken cow - hating every minute of it. Then I'd catch a look from my training partner. He'd be in just as bad a shape as I, but he'd have a big goofy grin on his face and say somethng stupid to me like, "Isn't this great!" or "Man, this is fun!" His strength lay in enjoying the process.

Or in school, I remember struggling through the courses I disliked or found boring, getting mediocre grades in spite of my best efforts, wishing it was all over, but staying up all night without any sign of fatigue working on the courses I found interesting or enjoyable and getting excellent grades.

Again, for me the key to real success isn't discipline, but motivation. If you're motivated the rest just falls into place. The mystery, of course, has always been how do you get and stay motivated enough to enjoy the process and achieve the goal?

[Tom Yum]

I’ve started by sharing some thoughts on keeping students motivated, but I wouldn’t want to just limit it to other people – keeping on when you just don’t feel like it is a struggle we all face every day –anybody got any good head games you play with yourself?

Find out why your students are here and make them declare their goals.

Gregi, I think the goal is to find out what motivates someone and give it to them. But its not just the motivation, its the delivery too. Some people need the drill seargent others need to be sweet talked; everyone else is in between.

Personally I don't mind the drill sargeant approach as long as its uniform among everyone and as long as there are rewards for performing above average. I prefer instructors with b@lls to the wall type personalities - but that's just me.

When you're instructing more than one person, you loose some teaching effectiveness because you can't be all things to all people.

[gregimotis]

Personally I don't mind the drill sargeant approach as long as its uniform among everyone and as long as there are rewards for performing above average. I prefer instructors with b@lls to the wall type personalities - but that's just me.

When you're instructing more than one person, you loose some teaching effectiveness because you can't be all things to all people.

I also like the balls to the wall approach. As you say, it's tough with a whole class - especially a fitness class as opposed to martial arts type folks. I try to mix it up on different days, and interact with individuals when I can.

[westway50]

Agreed, discipline is a very important part of the equation but I've found that motivation is even more important.

ehh i agree with both of you tat both of those are important, but dun chu think that sucess is based on the person's perception and goals? like i procrastinate on school work alot. but i set a goal to get important things done. i might not get an A but im happy with what i got. of course every1 wishes to be better but that is just who people are.
its not like a person who lacks motivatoin is a failulare. like im pretty sure that every1 knows one person who is genuinly smart, but doesnt work for it. tat person just has it good and can succeed without both discipline or motivation

[Tom Yum]

Define Success

The ability to overcome a new event, challenge or situation.

[Tom Yum]

So If I over come a single obstacle I am a success in life?

Sure, if that single obstacle is the most important one in your life.

Ghandi overcame a single obstacle and he was considered successful in life.