Am I justified in being angry?

[osopardo]

Both students and parents need to be made aware of the rules and why the rules exist. The easiest way is to have a brochure (or even a small contract made up that both parents and students need to sign) explaining the general rules and the basic concepts. It may not be the student's fault but that doesn't excuse the student of the responsibility.


"Yes, you're paying me to teach you, but so are all the other students. When you are late you disrupt the class and in doing so you are showing a lack of consideration and respect for others; the students, the instructor and ultimately, yourself. This is not merely a matter of money, but touches on something far more valuable that once lost can never be regained; Time."

[ledfut]

thanks for the advice everyone


well i talked with my boss about it, and his feeling is similar to mine. i have lost those 2 students. he said he could feel it for several weeks and that the mother was just looking for a reason to snap at me so she can feel justified. he said that situations like this are more of the business aspect of running a martial arts school (which i'm horrible at).

they were at testing on saturday. i only made eye contact with the mom once and she smiled. who knows maybe she was on the rag?

now that all my testing and tournaments are done until the middle of the summer, i can get back to just teaching. hopefully that will keep everyone quiet.

funny side story:

saturday i had classes before testing and 2 kids showed up a bit late. i did the same routine, and dad says "it's not their fault". i said i understand but i'm going to give them a hard time anyway. all he said was "good".

[lorenzodamarith]

hello,

ledfut, you needn't go that far. when you are instructing, everyone (child and parent) must see you are in charge. they do not have the "right to show up late". nor do they have the "right to interrupt another student" to have thier way.

if this parent was sincere about wanting the child to learn respect, then this parent must learn to demonstrate it as well.

never discuss grievences during class time ever. unless the building burns down or someone is dead... there is no reason to do so. if you are talking with a student, the others have to wait thier turn.

frankly, the girls were lucky to be allowed to train. most programs don't allow those who are late to join class.

it may be in your interest to draw up a memo of class policies in writting and pass them to the parents. if you can get it on your website, so much the better.

parents are prone to stagemother syndrome and they forget they are paying for a membership... they are not purchasing the right to take over.

also, make sure you talk with your employer and make sure you are both absolutely clear on what is expected of the students and your methods of conflict resolution.

when you are teaching, you are the boss. the parents have to get that. otherwise the children won't and soon.... out of business.

thanks

[ledfut]

i didn't really get steamed until after she left. i felt bad because i had to cut one of the other kids i was talking to off because i couldn't pay attention to him.

i mean i do like the girl despite the nasty attitude she gets at times. however, if her mother is going to act like this, i'm going to persued my boss to let her go.

i am talking to him about it tomorrow. unfortunately i think i'm going to have to basically ignore the girl for a few weeks to avoid confrontation (assuming they return). also, i'm telling my boss i am not talking to them anymore and i will not go out to the lobby to watch the kids unless absolutely necessary (i.e. he's not in).

[jubaji]

You should have hit her with a flying spinning back kick then laughed menacingly.

[ledfut]

so today at 5:15 i had my children and jr. advanced class (7-11 blue and up). at about 5:20 2 of my female students (8yo blue and 10yo green) come in for their 2nd advanced class (5 min late). so i sternly said "come on, you guys are late. move quickly".


so mom comes in after class to tell me that it was her fault they were late and that i was disrespectful talking to them that way. i explained to her that i know it's her fault, but i'm going to talk to all my students the same regardless of who they are (i.e. i think she is trying to pull some girl shit on me).

her exact words: "i bring them here to teach them respect. the way you were talking to them makes them afraid."

if i were the boss (i'm head instructor, not master, or owner) i would have said, you know what maybe this isn't the school for you then. i have had problems with this student and her mother before about what i teach and how i teach it.

i'm going to talk to my master next time i see him and figure out the right action to take. however, i'm just wondering from you guys: do you think i'm justified in being a little steamed over the way she came up to me and talked to me today?