funniest and or most effective technique you've used in a "real Fight"

[old skool dude]

So what's your story? what is the best, most unorthodox, most traditional, most effective technique that you have used in a real fight in your life? Tell us! I dont care if you have to go back as far as elementary school to find a story!

Since I'm starting this thread, I'll give one of mine.
My most memorable fight was back in junior high. I think I used a "monkey steals the peach" technique on a bully who just wouldnt leave me alone while I sat at my desk trying to ignore him.
While still looking at my book, I reached back, grabbed a handful of "peaches", stood up, (he was now standing on tip toe like a ballet dancer...) and proceeded to RUN towards the blackboard with him in tow... I swung my arm foward, let go ot the peaches, and watched in wonder as he was launched face first into the blackboard!

I still remember the Dean screaming red faced at me in his office, "I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU NOT TO USE THAT KUNG FU ##@@&&!!! ( I had a LOT of bullies test me throughout junior high, and they all learned the hard way that not ALL nerds fight like nerds!)

[yentao]

Bit someone in the ear mike tyson style.

[sherwinc]

funniest and or most effective technique you've used in a "real Fight"

I always got a lot of highest ratio of hit,

i always hit my non-kungfu opponent plenty of times before they can hit me in a trading draw blows attack only......

i really love to feel the pain felt on my forearms during blocking, intercepting their attacks......

i am always executing blocking and frequent hand combinations even my opponent doesnt attack yet...... my purpose is to confuse my opponent within my next intentions.....

i used to execute a fake long distance AngKaKun attacks while i immediately do rapid short distance hand attacks......

i cant resist myself not to laugh after i hit my sparring partner plenty of times.....

Boxing, Karate and Tae Kwon Do is my favorite to a friendly match......

i have not yet experience sparring with a Muay Thai opponent....


Note:
a true KungFu Instructor, once he defeat in a fight (even just once) his reputation will lost....... everything from him will be lost......

if i am a KungFu instructor, if i lose the fight just once, i will automatically surrender my art, i will never practice my kungfu anymore, my reputation is lost...... the people look at me deteriorated....... they will never trust me anymore......

Note:
it is only normal for a KungFu instructor defeated by his classmate who is a kungfu instructor also....... both of them are of the same art practiced......

[zirk]

Well, one of the better I heard of was my former sifu. In highschool he had some years training of Hung Gar, and like in most highschools the tough guys try to pick a fight with the MA people to prove MA is just shit, right ?

So, he was picked on, picked on and picked on. 'Come on, show us Kung fu. Show kung fu'.

One day he got bored of it, said 'ok'. He quickly grabbed the guy, quick knee to the groin and said 'thats Kung Fu' as he walked away.

[sherwinc]

Well, one of the better I heard of was my former sifu. In highschool he had some years training of Hung Gar, and like in most highschools the tough guys try to pick a fight with the MA people to prove MA is just shit, right ?

So, he was picked on, picked on and picked on. 'Come on, show us Kung fu. Show kung fu'.

One day he got bored of it, said 'ok'. He quickly grabbed the guy, quick knee to the groin and said 'thats Kung Fu' as he walked away.

simple, direct, and to the point...... the qualities of a true kungfu......

no need to execute tight forms/stances, cause non-kungfu is easy to defeat.....

they could just not finish what they started...... non-kungfu are the trouble makers and cannot easily understand even a simple advice for their own good.....

[m.artist]

simple, direct, and to the point...... the qualities of a true kungfu......

no need to execute tight forms/stances, cause non-kungfu is easy to defeat.....

they could just not finish what they started...... non-kungfu are the trouble makers and cannot easily understand even a simple advice for their own good.....

simple, direct and to the point?

i thought you are alway proclaiming that kung fu is very "hidden, and mysterious, and decieving?"

simple, direct and to the point is jkd, not kung fu, plz don't confuse the two

[sherwinc]

simple, direct and to the point?

i thought you are alway proclaiming that kung fu is very "hidden, and mysterious, and decieving?"

simple, direct and to the point is jkd, not kung fu, plz don't confuse the two

You are a very Ignorant..... you still have a lot to learn about KungFu combinations......

The Following Examples of Simple, Direct, and To-The-Point Hand Attacks of Chi Dian Bun KungFu are:
1. Chiee
2. Pian
3. 1st level no.3 hand attack
4. 1st level no.4 hand attack
5. 1st level no.6 hand attack
6. 1st level no.9 hand attack
7. 1st level no.10 hand attack
8. 1st level no.14 hand attack
9. 1st level no.17 hand attack
note:
i addressed it 1st level cause i did not get its chinese name except 1 and 2
note:
The shortest distance between point A to point B is a straight line..... our first already enters and already there 12 inches to your chest, and it keeps on closer until you have no time to step back......

we are into Walking Hands(ChiDianBun), Non-telegraphic rapid hand attacks......

NOte:
this is all belong to Simple Direct and to the point......

we have also Angle Hand Attacking Combinations......

we have also Semi-Circle, Circling Hand Attacks.......

aside from simple, direct and to the point.......

m.artist - you still have to learn more about our ChiDianBun KungFu art, there are plenty of things you still have to learn from our art...... not to mention our AngKa, 5 Family Style of TaiChiChuan KUngFu.......

So you see????? you are a very ignorant..... expecting unexpected, it will lead you to defeat in a combat.......

as i always said, kungfu has plenty of options...... it is like saying that:
1. anything that could be found in a Typewriter is also found in a Personal Computer,
2. anything that can be found in a Xerox Copier Machine is also found in a Computer Printer,
3. anything that can be found in a television can be found in a computer monitor with a tv card,
4. anything that can be found in a Sterio Sound System is also found in a Computer Multimedia.......


so you see?????
Computer has plenty of Options.......
KungFu has plenty of Options.......

Xerox Copier Machine, Typewriter, Television, Sterio Sound System, etc., is all defeated by a Personal Computer......

thus....

MuayThai, Karate, Boxing, TaeKwonDo, all non-kungfu, is all defeated by a KungFu..........


thus.....

Japanese ToraTora, WorldWar1 Panzer, BayonetRifle, etc...... is all defeated by an F14 Tomcat Fighter Plane cause it has PLENTY OF OPTIONS........


UNDERSTAND????????

[Toudiyama[NL]]

2. anything that can be found in a Xerox Copier Machine is also found in a Computer Printer,
3. anything that can be found in a television can be found in a computer monitor with a tv card,
4. anything that can be found in a Sterio Sound System is also found in a Computer Multimedia.......

A printer can not copy, an all in one can copy, so Xerox comparion is flawed
the Xerox can do doublesided copies,can group them and staple them can your printer do the same, I don't think so

My TV has 3 scart 1 VGA and one SVideo input and 82 cm screen diagonal, does your PC have the same?

SterEo systems will have a far superior quality sound compared to your multimedia PC and audiophiles aren't into features anyway
Name my one Multimedia PC that has RIAA correction build in ( has a phono in for turntables) or has a class A amplifier
Quality goes over quantity when it comes to audio, rather a double A class 20 Watt amplifier without any controls than a 150 Watt class C with all kinds of soundcontrols ( treble, bass and loudness)

I see you know as much about electronics as you do about non KF MAs

[sherwinc]

A printer can not copy, an all in one can copy, so Xerox comparion is flawed
the Xerox can do doublesided copies,can group them and staple them can your printer do the same, I don't think so

but your Xerox Machine(non-kungfu) cannot do watch movies, cannot do listen sterio sounds, cannot do play war games........ while the Personal Computer (KungFu) is capable........

My TV has 3 scart 1 VGA and one SVideo input and 82 cm screen diagonal, does your PC have the same?

but your TV (non-kungfu) cant do print-out multiple xerox copied papers, cant do scan pictures and upload as a BMP, JPG, etc....., cant surf the internet defend.net to reply my stupid quote...... while a Personal Computer (KungFu) can do it all............

SterEo systems will have a far superior quality sound compared to your multimedia PC and audiophiles aren't into features anyway
Name my one Multimedia PC that has RIAA correction build in ( has a phono in for turntables) or has a class A amplifier
Quality goes over quantity when it comes to audio, rather a double A class 20 Watt amplifier without any controls than a 150 Watt class C with all kinds of soundcontrols ( treble, bass and loudness)

I see you know as much about electronics as you do about non KF MAs

but your Sterio Systems (non-kungfu) cant do make multiple copies of xerox/selex papers, cant do word processing for business purposes, cant access the internet to say "i am Convinced"......... while the Personal Computer (kungfu) can do most of the "one style fits all"

CONVINCED??????

[yentao]

sherwinc, shut the fuk up bitch!
U fuckin chink-ass, u dont say non-kungfu sux, u say everything sux coz it is not made by chinese bitch.
I go to your fuckin country, I go to your fuckin town, I go to your fuckin school, I take boys w me, I beat the shit outta everyone there until one of you confess that it is u, and then we fuckin rape u harder then all the rape culture can imagine. Are we clear?
And now u pussy bitch, u tell me your fuckin adress

P.S. Dont start bout effectivness of your shit, dont tell me that Im ignorant, dont say martial artist cant fight, u dont start the fight bitch, u just give the fuckin adress. Are we clear?

You are going to get banned because of these. Now lets see who is the fool now. I hardly believe you can do a single thing you said. Even if you can, you shouldn't threat anybody over the net. When you are going kill somebody you won't say so or it will be used against you. You are truly an immature guy. Besides Sherwinc is not chinese so how can you raised a racist statement like that. Wrong move.

[sherwinc]

sherwinc, shut the fuk up bitch!
U fuckin chink-ass, u dont say non-kungfu sux, u say everything sux coz it is not made by chinese bitch.
I go to your fuckin country, I go to your fuckin town, I go to your fuckin school, I take boys w me, I beat the shit outta everyone there until one of you confess that it is u, and then we fuckin rape u harder then all the rape culture can imagine. Are we clear?
And now u pussy bitch, u tell me your fuckin adress

P.S. Dont start bout effectivness of your shit, dont tell me that Im ignorant, dont say martial artist cant fight, u dont start the fight bitch, u just give the fuckin adress. Are we clear?

a lot of them ThaiBri, hEmPY, Diarrhenation, etc.... reply me and called me Shit, Moron, ****, Bitch, whatever...... but i did not loose my temper.....

i am still calm and its ok with me here......

i dont have any bad feelings about you, for every quote that i read.....

with all my reply quote, i dont loose my temper, i made it in jokes....

smile is the important thing.......

the more depth i learn with my kungfu - the more i accept patience within the bad words that you reply with me......

[yentao]

DAAAAAAAAAMMnnn!!!!!!

yentao was right, you're not a chink... YOU'RE A JEW!!!!!



All this reply reminds me of an old jewish joke:

"Haym, do you know that Abraam had sex with your wife yesterday, right on this firewoods!"

Haym: "So? Are they mine now!?"

Ok how corny.

[konghan]

Mine, was way back in 1975 4th year high school at Adamson Universityl. I was on my 1st year in ngo cho kun.

In school I was always the quite one, bullies leave me alone I leave them alone. One day I got into an altercation w/ a bully about him pushing & shoving on a line up.

Then the bully challenge me to a "square" (fair fight) i accepted & right in the class room (it was recess) we fought. What`s funny was i kind`d subconciously set the rules by not using any kicks becuase at that time locals fight like boxers & they know chinese people like to kick which they make fun of.

So, at first I didn`t use kicks, we stood there he tried to throw a punch he missed, then he threw a front kick which he missed too. That`s when I shouted at him " may simapaan pala huh?" ( so kicking is allowed), then i luanch at him with a series of side kicks to his mid section.

I think 3 side kicks landed in his rib backing him all the way to the wall then I threw a 1-2-3 punch combination. Then suddenly, his buddies who at first stayed out of it jump in. I think there were 3-4 of them. They started throwing punches.

I wasn`t sure what I did in that swarming, I must have just kept swinging & dodging there was no room to run. Then other students step in kind`d breaking up the fight, then the recess bell sounded. And students were yelling "here comes the teacher".

After we broke up all I saw in myself, no injuries, no black eye but my shirt was TORN APART!, my opponent on the other hand had a big SHINNER! a black eye & nose bleeding but his shirt was intak but has my shoe print all over it.

The funny part was when I thought there was no kicking & I when I said to him "there was kicking" then I started kicking him.

[Crabpuff]

I think mine would have to be the cheek to fist technique, where i hurt their hand with my cheek, WARNING not for the weak!!!!!!!!

[konghan]

I don get it

That`s the funny part, I felt stupid for thinking there was no kicking & when he kicked me first I had to sound ignorant as to reply first by as if I was asking for permission to use my kung fu skill. I guess I`m a fair fighter I don`t want to take advantage of somebody. But, after that I just laught inside of me at my self.