Real life situation

[Darkgod]

How do you lose fear in a fight Because when you think about it you just cant fight when your afraid so how do you destroy the fear mentally. And also how do you meditate and what are the benefits of this.

[koto_ryu]

How do you lose fear in a fight Because when you think about it you just cant fight when your afraid so how do you destroy the fear mentally. And also how do you meditate and what are the benefits of this.

It's a psychological impossibility to never truly be unafraid of anything, as everyone has fears and doubts. It's how you harness your fear and control it, as long as it doesn't get the best of you, fear can actually be used in your favor. Fear tends to turn on your "fight-or-flight" instincts by raising your heartbeat, your senses become much sharper, and your body is either ready to dart for the nearest hiding place or to fight back. As long as the fear doesn't take control of you, that's all that really matters.

[Oraenor]

How do you lose fear in a fight Because when you think about it you just cant fight when your afraid so how do you destroy the fear mentally. And also how do you meditate and what are the benefits of this.

Like the terminator says, anger is more important than dispair. Apparently shouting and screaming helps deal with fear in combat.

[Nemes1s]

my cousin has that same problem, well he's about 13 years old so he's preety young and he takes Tang soo Do classes because thats what he choose to do, he didn't want to take wing chun with me, but he quit because of his fear of sparring, I tried telling him that sparring is not nesscarily fighting, and I also told him that sparring will help you in real situations it teaches you how to control fear and how to get the feel of a real situation. but he won't, I tried not to force this upon him because I know when you force somebody to do something they will rebell, I even tried telling him, about how to control fear letting fear make you stronger, faster and a better martial artist but he won't ya'll have any suggestions, he wants to go to a hypnotist ( not sure if i spelled it right) all he says is "easier said then done", any suggestions?

[Bjjexpertise@be]

Confidense in a fight is usually achieved by having confidense in your abilities. Your cousin is probably afraid to spar because:
1.He doens't trust the techinques and skills he learns in class.
2.He has no confidense in himself.
3.Doesn't like people to touch his face.(During my first year of wrestling I hated the crossface because I was afraid people might messs up my beautiful face )
Whichever one it is, they can be surpassed in time. Just try to get him to spar with you and go easy on him and let him try some of his techniques.

[Studiobuddy]

my cousin has that same problem, well he's about 13 years old so he's preety young and he takes Tang soo Do classes because thats what he choose to do, he didn't want to take wing chun with me, but he quit because of his fear of sparring, I tried telling him that sparring is not nesscarily fighting, and I also told him that sparring will help you in real situations it teaches you how to control fear and how to get the feel of a real situation. but he won't, I tried not to force this upon him because I know when you force somebody to do something they will rebell, I even tried telling him, about how to control fear letting fear make you stronger, faster and a better martial artist but he won't ya'll have any suggestions, he wants to go to a hypnotist ( not sure if i spelled it right) all he says is "easier said then done", any suggestions?

I say get some sparring gear and tell him u wont hit him just block his moves

then once he can gain more confidence start throwing in single punches

keep adding in more stuff until u guys go at it

[Oraenor]

the kid's just hitting puberty and want to get girls you know. He wants belts to show off and structure moves like a robot to show them how cool he is.most importantly, he wants to show his pretty face to the girl that he likes. In the playground, he's probably the one that wont be picked on therefore he has no use of such skill.Let him be for afew years, like when he's 16, when he realises that TKD/tang soo do is not enough or when he's cocky and wants to challange you, thats when wing chun can show off! As I can recall, TSD/TDK has sparing doesnt it?

[jubaji]

my cousin has that same problem, well he's about 13 years old so he's preety young and he takes Tang soo Do classes because thats what he choose to do, he didn't want to take wing chun with me, but he quit because of his fear of sparring, I tried telling him that sparring is not nesscarily fighting, and I also told him that sparring will help you in real situations it teaches you how to control fear and how to get the feel of a real situation. but he won't, I tried not to force this upon him because I know when you force somebody to do something they will rebell, I even tried telling him, about how to control fear letting fear make you stronger, faster and a better martial artist but he won't ya'll have any suggestions, he wants to go to a hypnotist ( not sure if i spelled it right) all he says is "easier said then done", any suggestions?

beat him up

[Nemes1s]

Bjj- I think you bring up a good theory, maybe he's not to concident with his abilties he learned, before he had to sparr he knew how to do everything they taught him., before he used to tell me to do this and that and he would try to do the teq. but when it comes to sparring thats when he gets can neervous and begins to shake. but him and I did sparr, and he would do fine, of course I don't go all crazy with my wing chun I tried to fight like a typical average attacker you will find in the street. but I suppose he gets scared of fighting other people he doesn't really know, because with me he seems fine

Oraenor- naw I don't think thats what it is really, he's was preety concident with the girls before TSD I've been teaching him a thing or two about girls , but the thing is that he wants to learn Tang soo do, I believe he really does and I think he's just has a confidence problem and he isn't able to control his fear of sparring other people.

[bbbb]

Fear

There are 4 emotions... Mad, Glad, Sad or Scared.
All you have to do is feel your emotion- not supress it.

When we are scared we want to supress that feeling- because we are socially conditioned to "not be scared".
Instead we must simply acknowledge that we are scared and not fight two battles: great theory isn't it

This acceptance, the more automatic it becomes, translates into confidence. You now have the mental space to make your calculation's of attack.

It's like when you have a friend who is holding an emotion from you. You like
the whole person-including what they are holding from you...you want to know so you can fix it for them...well if you acknowledge all your feeling's you can use more of yourself.

[bbbb]

chi kung(first two steps out of five)

imagine... a piece of string, with a knot tied in the middle, extending from
the centre of one palm to the other palm( with hand's held out in front
and palm's facing each other..).

Imagine the knot tied in the centre of the piece of string joined from the centre of one palm to the centre of the other. Concentrate on that knot in the middle of the piece of string extending from the middle of your palm's...

...now I want you to relax, let yourself relax...I want you to think of your head relaxed, relax every muscle in your head, now relax your face...let every muscle in your face relax; let your shoulder's relax, relax every muscle in your shoulder's; now relax your arm's all the way to the tip's of your finger's-let every muscle in your arm's relax.......................

...This type of meditation is out of Chi Kung, which I don't know much about except that YOU MUST BE FOCUSSED BEFORE YOU CAN RELAX-

Think about it: how do you relax-------->> you must focus on how to go about relaxing...so this Chi Kung fist involves focussing(on the knot) and then the application of that focus in trying to relax the whole body.


A, if you want, simpler meditation is counting" &1,&2,&3 .." and coming back to 1 after 10.
The & is on the in breath and the count is on the out breath. At the end of the in breath and before the out breath you should be able to notice a gap, where, it isn't really necessay to do either- you should be able to enjoy that GAP between the in and the out breath.

[DragonAE86]

Pls Note 'I am not an expert Psychiatrist' the following events are from my own experiences.

When I started my upper school (age 13 i think), anyways within days I was already targerted(sp?) by a bully from a different middle school student. This guy was extremly intimdating (compared to my skinny, lanky build) he was (and still is) a replica of Mr T (bar the bling bling), so yep a big fuker!

Anyways almost the three years at school I was regularly punched and kicked at any given oppurtunity.

Then through a friend I got to meet a guy who was heavly involved in MA (Judo, Thai & western boxing), as a student from a poor background I couldn't afford to pay for lessons, so this guy was happy to train me for free at he's home gym. So after 6 months of training everyday with this guy, I was confident to hold my own (I forgot to mention that the guy I trained, was at the time regualry into 'Gypsy bare knuckle' matches, so my training with him was extremly tough, at times quite scary, but still I told myself, 'it's better to take a beating whilst learning to defend against it rather then to just submit to it'.

Anyways 3 weeks before upper school was about to come to an end, I was attacked by this bully outside the 'science labs', BUT this time I actually stood up for myself, I used a typical boxers guard, and somehow managed to block every punch and kick this bully threw at me, eventually the bully was tired and could throw no more, I looked up, out of my 'guard' and realised two things ;-

1. My oppenent is tired and now vunerable.
2. I was no longer scared (because at one time, even the word 'fight' would scare me).

I actually only threw 1 punch (that I can remember in the fight, which skimmed the jaw of the bully), but from that day on, I continued to train hard in the belief that as long as I have enough to stop any attackers threats than that was enough reason to carry on.

----

Sorry to ramble on, but it helps having some background knowledge of the ppl responding to someone's question (IMO).

So basically the answer to your Q is quite simple, to overcome your fears, you have to face them.

In fighting, if you fight regulary, whether in comps or streets (street fights are best avoided if possible), you will feel more comfortable in that environment.

[Tom Yum]

Fear

Everyone has a little fear whether you are fighting or even sparring. The more you face it, the better you are at making your body do what it needs to do under pressure. That's the toughest thing; facing that fear again and again.

No matter how good anyone is, they've been beaten up sometime while training, competing or fighting. Getting beat a few times makes a man out of you. Even then, you still face fear but it has such a smaller influence.

[Garland]

I like those butterflies before a fight, like your gearing up for something, and it makes you feel invincible. **** yeah, it's like being in love. I love it.