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Hi I'm just asking for some advice. I have been training BJJ for a long time. A little while ago my teacher who has taught me for years and years moved back to Brazil. This was super hard because we had a really good relationship and he taught me every thing. I mean the guy truely tried his best to teach and show me everything he knows. After he left I was kind of lost I trained on my own for a while and soon realized I needed to go to another academy if I am going to continue to progress. So I went to where I believe is the best academy in my area. I started training there and I was asked to pay 100 bucks a month which I did. Then I was asked to compete in an upcoming event. So I said that I would. I was given a patch of the school to put on my gi and was told I had to wear it and continue to pay 100 bucks every month plus go to specail training sessions for the tournament. To attend these sessions required that I had to readjust my work schedual big time which I did but I was not at all the training sessions because sometimes I just have to work. Then I was scolded for not being at all the training sessions. I have felt pretty much like an outsider at this academy as I have not yet really proved myself and didn't really learn there. When the tournment came I dropped a jar of peanut butter on my big toe the morning there of by accendent. My toe became blue and hurt to walk. I went up to the tournament anyway and figured I would just suck it up. Then when I got there I relized that I forgot my belt. I felt like it was bad luck. I didn't want to compete without my own belt. Barrowing someone elses belt just seemed like a jinx and I didn't want to do that. It is the belt my teacher gave to me and I have worn it for everything since he gave it to me and I don't want to wear someone elses. I didn't have time to go home and get my belt either and on top of that I didn't feel prepaird as I should to compete so I just pussed out and went home. I didn't say anything to anyone and I just left. I let down the team and the new dojo where I train at now. I haven't been back to class since. I will feel bad going back I am going to have to explain myself. Does anyone have some advice?
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Well I have some adivice......stop beating yourself up about this situation.
No offense, but I think the main problem is that you lack confidence and assertiveness (ie a backbone). The money and the school patch I can understand, but you let this instructor force you on a team that, as it appears, you did not want to join. I think it is wrong for the school to require it students to compete on a team or indiviually if they do not have the desire. But if that is the school philosophy it is not right for you. You should have discussed your goal and training with the instructor and explained that you were not interested or becuause of work could not make all the practices.
So you do not need to "prove" anything to anyone beyond the fact that you are dedicated and willing to train hard. However, since you agree to join the team well it is a different expectation ( I would assume) than a regular student.
If you are still able to contact your previous instructor maybe he can recommend a dojo and even call the instructor for you.
I have a question: Were did all of the students go to train after your instructor went back to Brasil. Also, how old are you (high school college 20's 30's etc)? -
Everybody has different goals in M.A. It sounds like you're not in it for the tournament competition, which is absolutely fine.
I would talk to the instructor about your goals, maybe he got the wrong impression of you in the beginning. However, from the way you wrote about the academy here, it doesn't sound like you are enjoying yout training, and you shouldn't be shelling out $100 a month for something you don't like.Comment
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well, quite the predicament. first off, in my own opinion, an academy should NEVER force students to compete. competition is not for everyone, and that is not what the martial arts are about. i love to compete, but competition is merely an addition to training, rather a person does it for fun, recognition, self test, or become a champion in someones book. some dojo's are real competition driven, that's not wrong, you just have to ask yourself if you want to train in that environment.
second, if it bothers you or puts stress on your life to train excessively for tourneys or if it starts breaking you financially, you might want to consider slowing down. from your post it sounds like you like to compete maybe every now and then but not like the hardcore guys who don't miss an event. i have a wife and kid, hey man i gotta work to.
third, if you didn't compete due to injury, no big deal, there will be more i assure you. as for the belt deal, no sympathy here, bro. the belt color or borrowing a belt or your "lucky" belt not being there, kinda sounds like your looking for a way out, no offense, i'm on your side. don't use that excuse.
bottom line, if an instructor scolded me for missing class, see ya, i will walk, we are all adults, he should act like one. if you feel like an outsider at a school, then you were probably not welcome there, try another one.Comment
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My God man a $100 dollars a month! Do they give Swedish massages with your training? I train for free but our instructor charges only $35 a month (for three days a week). Is it just me or is that hi?
It sounds like those other guys are ass holes anyway. Are there any other BJJ schools around? How many years did you train? Would your old instructor support you if you decided to teach?
I would definitely think about alternatives. It sounds to me they are just a meet market getting everyone’s money and when they have bled ya' dry they spit you out!Comment
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Originally posted by darrianation
BJJ is expensive look at Renzo Gracie's prices in NYC:
2x per week: $140
3x per week: $185
unlimited: $250Comment
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Thanks for the replys. IPON is right I have no back bone. I get pushed around by people all the time. I guess that is just something I've gotta work on. I mostly like to train BJJ to get better I like training the most. Drilling techniques and improving them and my ablity to do them. I like to roll with everyone and train. I don't like it when training structerd with a time limit like 5 min per person and score is kept. Because then I am just training to win instead of trying to get better. I guess the belt thing was an excuse but I knew kids in high school who would wear the same jock strap every time they competed so I felt legitamate about saying that I wanted to wear my own belt. I think I am just going to go back and train because that's what I love to do most. I guess if people ask or say stuff I will just make up some kind of excuse that sounds legit and move on with life.Comment
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Originally posted by Groin Grab
My friend you are moving backwards. Part of MA training should be to help build your confidence, but you have to want to change. Yes, you should go back with the TRUTH!! Talk with the instructor and be assertive let him know your goals you may be surprised by his response he may have assumed that becuase you had prior training that you just wanted to compete. But if the guy is a jerk don't accept it and eff the others in the dojo about what they think. Also, I must say that competition may be good for you to help with you confidence and training.
Originally posted by Groin Grab
Yeah, like others said definately an excuse. The reason it is an excuse is becuase YOU do not even believe the reasoning. If you always had to were your belt then that would be a different story but since it does not seem that you compete you have not developed those issues of good luck/bad luck.
Generally speaking, I don't think MAs are as superstitious as other athletes like baseball players. I would borrow a used gi and belt if I had to big deal.
Here is a saying about excuses:
"Excuses are monuments of nothing, they build bridges to nowhere. Those who use these tools of incompetence are fools and masters of nothing"
What about my other questions? Where are the other students from your previous school training? How old are you? Can you still contact your instructor?Comment
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Damn!!!! I had no idea! I had always planned if I ever moved to a place where there is BJJ I was going to take it, but at those prices you can just forget it!Originally posted by IPONComment
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Sounds a bit McDojo to meOriginally posted by IPONComment
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Sounds like your a pu$$y.
Just kidding. I pay $109/mo. to stay active in JJ for 2x. 3x is 139 and 4x is 159. I dedicate the rest of my time to FMA. Anyway, call and talk to your new instructor. Tell him your not interested in tournements and you made a mistake by doing the obligation. Tell him you heart is in jj for selfdefense. Or, find an other club. If not available. Start taking Judo or other grappling. And see if that teacher can help you progess with your jj. Or move.Comment
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If you aren't enjoying the training then nothing else matters. Life is too short to spend time doing something you don't enjoy. Especially if you don't have to. Especially if you have to pay for it! Find another gym. This one is obviously not for you.Comment
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I don't know how you guys afford it, you must not have kids. The most I have ever paid for MA is $65/mo.
This was for Kenpo and Arnis, both were at the same school. For $65 a month I received one private 1 on 1 instruction and one group instruction in kenpo, and one private 1 on 1 and one group in Arnis per week. I thought this was expensive but well worth it!
You guys must really want to do BJJ or you have a lot of money.Comment
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groin, you don't need to reveal your instructor, but what is his rank? i know for black belt instruction it's not going to be cheap. that price sounds right for at least brown, maybe.Comment
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Darn Darr, I had the same sentiments but then I'm a cheapscate dutch guy
Most I paid was 95 guilders per 3 months which is about 15 uero (18$) a month but normal would be about 30-40 euro's a month for a gym with fitness-area
Seems BJJ adicts are prepared to spend a lot of money to train with a brazilian instructor, let alone one named GracieComment
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