Making Eye Contact?

[treelizard]

A lot of SD classes will tell you that when you're walking around, you should always make eye contact with everyone you see. Has anybody ever questioned this? I wanted to know people's thoughts on whether or not this is a good idea. I feel that looking down, avoiding eye contact, etc. makes you look like a victim. But when I look back at weirdos I don't know talking to me, it almost always happened right after I made eye contact, leading me to wonder whether or not that had anything to do with it.

My most recent example was when I was backing up my car and turned around to check on distancing so I wouldn't hit the guy who was walking around the lot, and as SOON as I looked back at him, he did the whole, "Hey cutie! Where ya goin? Which way are you goin??! No really, tell me where you're going! Hey can I go with you?" etc. etc. He also simultaneously got out of the way and I made my hasty exit, but it made me wonder. I'm not sure I would go out of my way to avoid eye contact, but I feel that me looking at him triggered his little pre-adolescent outburst. Also, if someone is yelling stupid shit at you, if you look at them, you are giving them that attention they never got in childhood, but if you look straight ahead, you might not see something you need to be aware of if the situation does escalate beyond the petty verbal kind.

[Tant01]

I was sitting in my car waiting to pick up my little one at school. This really grungy looking hippie type (long hair bearded) guy was in front of me going by on a little kids bicycle... He noticed me looking at him and yelled loud for me to hear the classic challenge "WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT!"

Eye contact is not good in many cases.

I almost had to laugh but I wasn't about to reply "Rolling stoner"?

...Imbalanced or insecure individuals often feel provoked by eye contact unless it's a submissive glance, head lowered, toothy smile...and break away. Or stare them down and give them a big evil grin> I dunno depends on my mood mostly...

Eye contact communicates interest among other things, why else would you be looking to see if I'm looking at you?

Oh, you want to back your car here? LOL Hey babe, can I get a lift?

Should have ran over him w/o looking back...Oops!

Speed bump?

[muaythaiguy15]

A lot of people think its a sign of disrespect if you look them in the eyes (my dad was a drill sergent). Also, it usually does lead to fighting or arguing. Always before a fight, someone says something and I look at them in the eyes to see if theyre really sure what theyre doing.

Id say, look up, look sure but you dont need to look in the eyes. Train hard and dont go looking for trouble, and most importantly dont be stupid!

[knifethrower]

Should have ran over him

I was gonna say that damn it you beat me to it!

Look them in the eyes becuase you can read a lot there but, wear sunglasses. Don't turn your head but look at their eyes.

[Shard]

Well you have to consider the situation before you make eye contact.
Try making eye contact with a street corner gang looking for some action.
Then Gimme a call and tell me how cute the nurses in the hospital are ok?

If you decide to make eye contact, by all means try to keep it as brief as possible. Every second eye contact is extened, there is a greater chance the person will feel uneasy/ react in a unreasonable way. Besides being aware of your surroundings, I see no reason to extend eye contact beyond a short glance at the people around you. Its not like we can directly read their minds and know if they are going to mug us.

[Thai Bri]

A lot of SD classes will tell you that when you're walking around, you should always make eye contact with everyone you see.

These are pretty shite self defence courses then.

You should be "the grey man", there but not noticed. Walk tall and take everything in, but use your peripheral vision. Looking someone directly in the eyes is a no no unless it is socially appropriate at the time (like talking to a friend or a shop assistant etc. Certainly NOT to total strangers.

If you unwittingly find yourself caught in a mutual eye contact scenario with an unknown potential threat, merely nod and say hi. Then look away. No staring matches, as they escalate into stupid pissing contests.

If he does challenge you (i.e. "What are you looking at!") merely ask if you and he went to the same school. When he says no, apologise, smile ad walk away.

[SamuraiGuy]

"If he does challenge you (i.e. "What are you looking at!") merely ask if you and he went to the same school. When he says no, apologise, smile ad walk away."

Then duck into the next alley, come back and HIT HIM IN THE HEAD WITH A PIPE!

Then say, I'm looking at a pile of mush sucka, in a 1970's pimp voice.

[GonzoStyles]

you have to remember that back in our primordial primitive days, direct eye contact was a dominance check, try it with a friendly domestic dog, make eye contact, if the dog acknowledges your dominance over him/her they will look away(down). You can register the occupants of an area with peripheral vision (the greyman tactic). Direct eye contact should be reserved for assessing those who seem to be following you or are otherwise closing distance and approaching you. A good second (one onehundred) is usually all it takes to discern if someone is fixating on you and if you cant make out their intentions (a good predator doesnt let his intended victim know they have been selcted) then at least you have made known that you are aware of their prescence. Responses by the person can run the gambit from a sudden aversion of the eyes to a mad wide eye stare down, either could suggest a possible threat, so you have to take into account the situation at hand ; am I alone?, is the area that we are in out of plain sight? is it dark? is this a "bad" area of town(not that it makes that much of a differance these days), what does the body language of this person suggest?
ambush criminals will often use 1 person to distract the potential victim and walk them right into a trap so you have to avoid zoning in on this person as you may miss other important details, like the row of parked cars that you are about to pass which hides the ambush.

[budo]

eye contact

working night shifts and catching public transport home while my car is out of comission caused me to think about this an aweful lot,

quite a few assaults occur at the taxi ranks and bus stops near work as there are lots of bars and as a result lots of drunk people who....failing to find a partner for the night are not above venting their frustrations on anyone who looks at them, walks near them or buys the last pie before they can get to it.

i've had a few confrontations after work and a few fights as a result,

i've found the best way is to be the "gray man" as about 500million SAS books put it untill someone challanges you for whatever reason, then i find its a good idea to look the agressor in the eye, it's easier to figure out what their planning on doing, they will either back off then or decide that you have offended them in some way, in this situation you could hold the stare and try to use it to distract their attention from something you plan to do to them,
or go back to being the "grey man" in the hope that they will lose intreset, this will also make you appear vunerable, so this may encourage them as you look like an easy target, this gives you the chance to "ambush" them if you choose as they have already assumed that you are weak and this is a mistake.

so i think its best to try and blend in, it helps you spot trouble before trouble spots you,

oh and i find the "didn't you go to my school defence" is very clever and original

[RZZZA]

I say, look at whoever and wherever you want, because youre #1 and everyone else is beneath you. You arent in jail or in the army...look where you damn well please! You have a right to do or say anything you want until someone challenges you for it...like if someone doesnt like you looking at them and they speak up or throw down...or if the "law" doesnt like you doing something, they have the police to confront you....etc.

[Sagacious Lu]

You should be "the grey man", there but not noticed. Walk tall and take everything in, but use your peripheral vision. Looking someone directly in the eyes is a no no ...

I agree completely, but when a stranger is determined to get your attention than when you give it to them I think it's a good idea to look them directly in the eyes because it shows them that you're confident. Looking people in the eyes otherwise just attracts unwanted attention.

[eXcessiveForce]

For Self Defence I have always shown acknowledge and dismiss.

A sharp look with eye contact last only a split second and then return gaze towards original target and move with purpose.

You don't want to provoke, nor arouse interested in those you wish to maintain distance.


By acknowledging them (and for god sakes without a smile) and then returning to your intended purpose you can communicate that you recognize they are there and that you are dismissing them as a person of interest. While at the same time making them aware that you are aware of their presence and have taken note of it.


damn hard to explain in words easier to show.

[osopardo]

A sharp look with eye contact last only a split second and then return gaze towards original target and move with purpose.

kinda like this

[osopardo]

or mebbe this...

[osopardo]

or you could shoot 'im one of these...