Making Eye Contact?

[Tant01]

It is to laugh...

or you could shoot 'im one of these...

Good thing I didn't kick my ass yet, you are funny!


Thanks ya old bear. I needed that!

[THT]

I don't know osopardo, those are totally classic "let's get freaky" looks!!*














*Fu(k no they're not!!

[osopardo]

...*Fu(k no they're not!!

No, actually, that first one is my "Wanna shag, now or later?" look.

[Shard]

I say, look at whoever and wherever you want, because youre #1 and everyone else is beneath you. You arent in jail or in the army...look where you damn well please! You have a right to do or say anything you want until someone challenges you for it...like if someone doesnt like you looking at them and they speak up or throw down...or if the "law" doesnt like you doing something, they have the police to confront you....etc.

Just because you have a "right-to" doesn't mean you should do it. In some people's minds, staring violates their privacy and they have a "right-to" give you an ass wooping. I'm not going to argue that each of us has a "right-to" look where we want to. But that right should be used with consideration. Not everyone recongises and respects that "right-to" look. If you want to get into trouble because of that i'm not stopping anyone.
Similarily, everyone in the United states has a right to free speech. But responsibility is required when ulititising that "Right". Like shouting "fire" in a crowded theater, when there is no fire, is an abuse of that right.

[whitebelt]

I'm careful not to get into a staring match and I also like to use my eyes for feints. Never ever, get into a staring match. Look away quickly then, refocus with out staring.

[gabbah]

or you could shoot 'im one of these...

Lol, I had a teacher that had eyes like that once and was a loon in every way. But he knew EVERYTHING. I mean EVERYTHING. I think he was so smart he became this cartoon figure without noticing or caring.
Anyway, each lesson we had with him, I cried with hidden laughter, and my stomach hurt afterwards from the joy. :P
He was such funny freak of nature. I really miss his lessons.

[Britt]

I've been meaning to post this for a few days, but haven't had the free time; I had a funny experience in exactly this area just a weekend or two ago. It was following a banquet, and my fiancee and I were going out with my instructor and his wife to have a drink somewhere. We decided to go to a little lounge bar in a nearby hotel, thinking it would be a quiet place to chat and hoist a few.

When we got there, there was a musical act playing and it was a lot busier and noisier than we thought it would be. We stood in the doorway for a little while looking around for a place to find a seat, when I met the gaze of this heavyset, bearded bald guy sitting at the bar. We looked at each other for a few seconds, as I tried to figure out if he was looking at me because he knew me. As we looked at each other, slowly his face started to screw up into this bizarre, hateful snarl until I realized we had progressed from exchanging looks to him giving me the stinkeye to full-on maddogging me. It was both a little funny and a little alarming. Anyway, I averted my gaze and looked away about 10 o' clock from him, keeping him in my peripheral vision, until my companions decided there wasn't a seat and we left. It's not like this was Uncle Death's Roadhouse and Asskicking Emporium or anything, it was a fairly nice little place. Weird.

Anyway, that sort of sums up my philosophy on eye contact. I've had inmates tell me that the rule when you're locked up is always look autority figures like guards or personnel in the eye, and never look another inmate in the eye. It's probably important to remember that some people carry that mentality around with them and will look on extended eye contact as a challenge. At the same time, refusal to make eye contact on the street at all could send a message that you're either inattentive or fearful and could make you a target. eXcessiveForce's policy of "acknowledge and dismiss" is a good balance to strike.

You know, enough advice on eye contact and self defense, and maybe we could compile a book or something...I'm thinking for a title either "Muay Eye," or "Eye Kwon Do."

[Tant01]

"Eye kwon do"... school of hard looks... :P lol

[Garland]

Hey RZA...you should know this line; "you can tell the weakness of a man right through his iris."

still, **** looking a person in their eyes. Look them in the numbers...the torso will tell you everything about what they're going to do, just like in football or any other sport. Look them in the eyes after.

People who front and posture will rarely look somebody in the eyes unless it's a respect thing...if their out to hit you from the beginning, or you fucked up somehow and they want you to awknowledge it, then they'll gaze you in the eyes...like a chin check, or some sort of BIG personal beef. (if they're worth a damn in a fight...if not, looking you in the eyes is plain stupid.)
Like dumb ass psuedo jocks who will start puffing their chests and moving their heads before pushing a person.

That's usually the idiot set up...posture, push, then punch.
Somebody puffs their chest, nail 'em. Hit them hard in the jaw line(preferably with a bottle), or if you think you can hit the throat, go for that...and then rinse and repeat, kick/stomp them on the ground.

So... eyes=personal beef, or some sort of territorial chin checking ritual.
good fighters= look either AT the target that they're going to drop you with, usually the jawline...you won't be able to tell...or the numbers to see where things will telegraph.
marks=will either look down and keep their eyes there, or will avoid looking at your face at all costs.

not looking or awknowledging you could also mean something else, however...they could have a weapon and they're waiting for you to turn your back. You have to size the person up, watch where they put their hands, or anything to indicate a concealed weapon.
I used to ocassionally look down, or away after mumbling something to set up a sucker punch. (sometimes people will actually lean in to try and hear. HA!)

This all, however, pertains to a confrontational situation. In most cases, these are the things where you can possibly talk your way out.

If the person gets too friendly too quick, or steps too close to you...hit him first and hard...and over...until he isn't a threat. If things chill out too quick, it could easily be a set-up to sucker punch your ass.

Most serious shit...won't be like this. It'll be quick and out of thin air.

just thoughts...I'm not an expert...just an asshole kid.

[Garland]

For the record, I personally find extended eye-contact...in of itself...to be pretty harmless in most cases.

You can tell when somebody's glaring at you to try and start shit, or that scornful look people get in their eyes when they think that you're below them.

...but...it could also be a gaze of interest...which I personally take as a compliment. A funny way to squash the ill will with the above types (ill meaning) is to go up to them and buy them a drink. If they think that the scenario is the later...they'll most likely either **** off, or start the fight then depending on how homophobic they are, or if it was a misunderstanding to begin with.
The third solution to that method is, well...I shudder to think.

[Tom Yum]

Garland can't take his eyes off of cleavage, hell I don't blame him!

[treelizard]

...but...it could also be a gaze of interest...which I personally take as a compliment.

See, that's the fucking problem. Here I am trying to make eye contact with people so I won't look like an easy target (oblivious, etc.) and people mistake it as a gaze of interest. I'm still trying to figure out if my eye contact causes this or isn't related... Like I've had three scenarios this past month, one was when this bum (who was drinking Everclear straight) started a long rambling conversation at me about my shoes, and I think I like barely glanced at him as he came in the laundromat. (Anyways, we left and called the cops and came back in after he was gone...) The second was when I was walking some mail around the corner from my workplace to the post office and some guy was trying to hand me a stuffed animal, like out of nowhere. It was pretty funny trying to come up with scenarios afterwards. I think I decided what happened was that he bought it for someone else who turned it away and was trying to give it to the first person he saw. So I kept walking but I was shadowing him to make sure he wasn't following me, and he wasn't--but I thought maybe looking down and right would make me look more vulnerable... Third scenario I already described, and that was the guy who started talking to me when I made sure I wasn't running him over--I really feel if i hadn't looked at him he wouldn't have said anything, but at what point does this get fucking ridiculous, I mean maybe I could just wear a veil, too. Sheez. And it always throws me off when people say things to me from their cars when I'm walking/biking, or even just in random public places, I almost always turn and look either just as a reaction or because I think it might be someone I know...

Anyways, I appreciate all the comments... Lots to think about. It cracks me up that looking at someone so as to look assertive instead of like a victim is so often misconstrued as interest and leads to more problems.

[bbbb]

Acknowledge and dismiss sound's good!!

You're being confident about yourself(not to mention AWARE OF YOUR SURROUNDING'S)..but women are alway's going to be acknowledged. Men the same...it's not worth looking over at some women in bar's either, for too long.

[Garland]

Oh...okay. I have a solution to treelizard's prob. Tell the guys politely that you're not interested, and you're busy, and have to go. If they say anything else, tell them to **** off.

Simple solutions tend to be the best solutions.

[treelizard]

Yeah, I hear you. But when you have to deal with it constantly, it seems preventing it in the first place would be a better solution. And also the fact that you never really know who/what you're dealing with, and all that.

Also I make a distinction between some guy at the cafe/library/other public place looking at me, and people looking at me as they follow me down the street when I am walking or biking by myself, or people who yell things at me from their cars.

It DOES seem to be decreasing though. Must be the shoes.

Oh...okay. I have a solution to treelizard's prob. Tell the guys politely that you're not interested, and you're busy, and have to go. If they say anything else, tell them to **** off.

Simple solutions tend to be the best solutions.