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Topic of the Day: Non-physical self defense

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  • Topic of the Day: Non-physical self defense

    Think back to the pizza fight video.

    The guy with the cell phone had a right to self-defense. As soon as the big guy cleared his girlfriend out of the way, it should have been a signal to take some kind of pre-emptive action. As martial artists, we discussed how we might have dealt with this situation...stun & run, fight & call the police, create space and use a concealed weapon etc.

    Do you think it would be possible to diffuse the situation by verbal or psychological means? Some folks have mean intentions, sometimes due to substances or ingrained psychological issues.

    As a martial artist, how do you deal with folks in non-violent drama scenes in your normal places of coexistence? Or how do you handle those that are in your circle of peers, but are not so friendly critics?

    I would especially like to hear from TMA stylists but MMA guys as well. You are free to use any wisdom from any source that you are familiar with....calling Hikage...

    The reason I asked is that not too long ago, a school boy posted something about a bully problem that he was having at school. So I pondered on it for a second and tried to offer decent advice, as others here did as well.

    http://www.defend.net/deluxeforums/s...516#post156516

    Thanks.

  • #2
    haha wow I got a compliment from Tom Yum in a PM, dont know if anything I did warranted it, but he asked for my thoughts on this so here I go. Funny cause I do have thoughts on this, just needed him to bring it to my attention.

    With that said there are a few things Id say about verbal self defense. First of all remember its verbal self DEFENSE not verbal offense, you dont need to start cutting up/flaming the guy to win here.

    Second of all you can say alot with few words, such as the word whatever.

    This word can mean a bunch of things.

    Whatever, your not important enough for me to care.
    Whatever, I'm not threatened by you.
    Whatever, you need to grow up.

    By just saying whatever you leave them thinking about what you meant by it, and that confuses them, most people dont like being confused or going up against something that confuses them, they will find some other kid to harass.


    Now there are also times when not saying things is better, in Grade 11 I was benching 270, and was the strongest kid in the weightroom, even though I looked like the average person. Once people found out about this, I'm instantly supposed to box the 300 pound kid, and anyone else who wants to box me. People try to prove themselves against the best at w/e they do, sure you can lift this much but I can beat you up, yeah w/e buddy who cares.

    For the record none of them could beat me up :P lol, yeah im immature. (although the 300 pound kid prolly could)

    An example of this is this kid and his twin brother are huge pricks and are always throwing bottles of pop at people, and generally disturbing shit. For w/e reason one of them was ridiculously good at playing the game shot for shot where you punch each other in the arm. Every day they would hound me to play this with them, calling out pussy, (with the rest of their friends), whenever I walked by, or coming up and asking me why I wouldnt play, I had alot of reasons, specifically weightlifting, who wants to weightlift with a heavily bruised arm. I always just say , I dont want to, after about 3 weeks they stopped and moved on, most people dont like those kids, but none of them ever really show it, by ignoring them and showing the maturity and willpower to not get into their dumb shit they just find someone who lets them pick on them.

    Which brings up the point of LETTING someone pick on you. Theirs a saying, something like, people can only do things to you, that you let them do.

    Nice sentiment but not really realistic, if I'm 250 pounds in grade 7, I can do w/e I want to the average 100 pound kid. When people force something on to you, the only way to get them to stop is to force it off, whether its adults, teacher , parents , police, physical force, or verbal.

    The fact is verbal self defense works until a point, and in general I believe saying a few things, or nothing at all is the best bet, depending on the situation. These bully will get bored if you do not give them a reaction, as in the whole shot for shot deal.

    Always remember this, try to verbally defend yourselves first in all situations, dont use cheesy lines or w/e you learned in Karate class, "I am prepared to defend myself if necessary".... if someone is going to be physical towards you try this.

    BE AGRESSIVE!!!! I can not stress this enough and was going to make a whole new thread about it, but ill just put it in here.

    90% of street fights the agressor will win, most people dont like to get hit, and with repeated hitting you will win. In boxing or MMA you can counter punch, move and block, in a street fight you may move away from the first punch, maybe even block the second, but the third and fourth may get through, and then the tackle or w/e they want to do to you, ANY untrained person will back up when you come at them, being agressive is the way to go.



    Whew long post, hopefully that helps someone out.

    Comment


    • #3
      Great Posts!

      Keep 'em coming.

      Samurai guy, I thought you'd add a unique perspective to things, which is why I asked of your opinion.

      When I was in the 11th grade I could max bench 235 at a body weight of 160 (8% bodyfat). I lift now strictly for power and conditioning....


      ....but I still have that 11th grade energy level

      Comment


      • #4
        160 eh, no shit, that was about what I weighed, maybe 165.. although I was alot fatter then u lol, I wish I had 8% body fat, im about 165 now, with.... 15 or something.. according to some scale where you put in your height and weight, so I dont know how accurate that is....

        Anyway, I dont know if this will get noticed much, very few people come to this open access place I think.

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by Mike Brewer
          In high school, I was the perfect picture of male geekdom.
          I'm not sure what the heck I was in highschool....something of a jock-nerd type I suppose.

          Comment


          • #6
            Even better than verbal powers is not having people start trouble with you at all... I dont know why but for the past few years no one has shown any real aggression towards me... maybe its just because Im tall and moody-looking... My skinnier, geekier friends who wear glasses have not had it quite so easy... :S

            Comment


            • #7
              Yes, even that.
              Because you asked me to -- SHRDLHU.Perhaps. I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". That makes sense to me.
              How tall are you?Do robots have skinnier geekier friends who wear glasses have not had it quite so easy?:-)

              Comment


              • #8
                Every situation is different. Combat is unpredictable. I let my mind go blank and let my training and practice take over. I don't respond to verbal assaults, instead I give a non verbal response such as body language. I always assume that the person is carrying a concealed blade or firearm. When something happens, i try to strike like lightning because street fights are like lightning. Verbal assaults again, I don't respond. Most people who are verbally assaulting you need something to motivate them. If you say the wrong thing, that is there motivation. Silence can make a potential perputrator reconsider his actions. It's dangerous out here, you gotta be careful.

                Footnote: I did not see the pizza fight video but I liked the topic so I tried to provide a decent response. Besides Tom Yum is one of my favorite authors on this site.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by Hardball
                  Footnote: I did not see the pizza fight video but I liked the topic so I tried to provide a decent response. Besides Tom Yum is one of my favorite authors on this site.
                  Thanks, Hardball.

                  Your post was short and to the point. Very appreciated.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Lizard
                    My skinnier, geekier friends who wear glasses have not had it quite so easy... :S
                    I guess if one looks geeky, they must be a total dork and incapable of putting the hurt down. Kinda like the party you were at when you first saw UFC 1.

                    You saw this skinny Brazillian fella getting ready to square off against a ranked pankration fighter built like a monster.

                    After you spilled beer from laughing at the site of this skinny dude, the room went silent when no one could understand what happened, what a lapel choke was and why the big guy tapped...

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Tom Yum
                      I guess if one looks geeky, they must be a total dork and incapable of putting the hurt down. Kinda like the party you were at when you first saw UFC 1.

                      You saw this skinny Brazillian fella getting ready to square off against a ranked pankration fighter built like a monster.

                      After you spilled beer from laughing at the site of this skinny dude, the room went silent when no one could understand what happened, what a lapel choke was and why the big guy tapped...
                      My point was that my skinny geeky friends have fights started with them more often...

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Got it.

                        OK Lizard, imagine your buddy is a menacing 5' 9" and 140 lbs (dripping wet). He allways had a strong dislike for physical exertion, loves role playing games like the kind those kids do in the park Sat morning and shy's away from social contact. Imagine Napoleon Dynamite....not intimidating and not a physical person by any means. He goes to the pull up bar, but can barely get to the half way position for the first pull up and often gasses out when walking to his classes.

                        He develops a problem with the local bully.

                        How do you advise him as one of your pals?

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Role-playing games are amazing... I found a computer text-based one where all the monsters are represented by letters... and its sooo detailed... you can even tell your character to wipe their face or clean their ears... but its too hard... every time you open a door theres a risk of: "mud hits you in the eyes, you are blinded! you feel something move by your head, the rat misses you, you die..." Or once my friend's character got aged by a ghost and died of old age... and whatever you do DONT select "farmer" as your class...

                          Advice for people getting bullied? Thats a complex issue in which I lack a fully formed opinion...

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            I beat your bench by a mear 15 pounds and I weigh 146, Tom
                            Well anyway....

                            I used to have problems with kids wanting to challenge me because I was stronger than I looked. They would usually tell me to throw a punch at them but I would just ignore them. Over time they seemed to just get tired of asking and stopped bothering me. I've always been a pretty shy and quiet guy so I've always just ignore people when they make comments or harass me. That seems to have worked for me but I don't know if that's the best way to get rid of someone.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by Bjjexpertise@be
                              I beat your bench by a mear 15 pounds and I weigh 146, Tom
                              Well anyway....

                              I used to have problems with kids wanting to challenge me because I was stronger than I looked. They would usually tell me to throw a punch at them but I would just ignore them. Over time they seemed to just get tired of asking and stopped bothering me. I've always been a pretty shy and quiet guy so I've always just ignore people when they make comments or harass me. That seems to have worked for me but I don't know if that's the best way to get rid of someone.
                              Cool.

                              That was when I was in the 11th grade and I'm older now.

                              FYI - I currently do sets of 5 with 245.

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