Jus Curious

[Tom Yum]

I'm sure a lot of murderers, child molesters, rapists, and serial killers could have done a lot of good in their neighborhoods. Look at Catholic preists. I'm sure they did a hell of a lot of good in their communities. That doesn't change who or what they are.

Before we spiral off topic, do you have any statistics of these criminals who were active volunteers in their neighborhoods before they were arrested committing their crime?

I don't have a clear picture of what or who a typical murderer or child molester does outside of the crime they commmit. How many community volunteers are criminal murderers or molestors and what percentage is that out of the entire volunteer community in that area?

It probably varies from town to city and state to state, education level, religious upbringing, socio economic status etc.

Its great to do good deeds but ultimately like Hardball said you are who you are. All the deeds in the world won't change that. If that's you're idea of what a good person is then it would be easy for you to think of yourself as a good person and be completely unaware of your own faults and flaws. We all have flaws. Its just that some are more obvious than others.

So do we measure a man by his words or his actions? Do we measure him by both - do they coorelate?

[TTEscrima]

You are your actions, 24/7/365 not just what you do during the "I'm doing my good deeds" time.

You may be a kind, generous, polite, blah blah blah helpful person except for a specific incident that may have taken no more than say 3 minutes of your entire life, and yet you'll be remembered and judged for that 3 minutes for as long as you're remembered. I figure if you're trying to "balance things out" or are "keeping score", you're already obviously concerned about your own behavior. People then begin trying to balance the scales by trying to "do" good deeds instead of simply being a good person.

[kingoftheforest]

Before we spiral off topic, do you have any statistics of these criminals who were active volunteers in their neighborhoods before they were arrested committing their crime?

Any of the 5 or so teachers from Florida that made national headlines for having sex with students.

That's child abuse, weather the kids realize it now or not. And teachers are highly regarded as helpful to the community.

[Tom Yum]

You are your actions, 24/7/365 not just what you do during the "I'm doing my good deeds" time.

I figure if you're trying to "balance things out" or are "keeping score", you're already obviously concerned about your own behavior. People then begin trying to balance the scales by trying to "do" good deeds instead of simply being a good person.

I understand this. Being a good person and doing good things are two different things - for instance if an attractive, young female were to throw herself in my direction - if I had an existing, loving relationship with a woman - I would resist the temptation and politely excuse myself.

I suppose that might be an example of being a good person 24/7/365?

[Tom Yum]

Any of the 5 or so teachers from Florida that made national headlines for having sex with students.

That's child abuse, weather the kids realize it now or not. And teachers are highly regarded as helpful to the community.

I agree with this.

[Sagacious Lu]

Am I pretentious, self-centered, haughty?

I've been a poster here for a good 5 years and I think that my online persona is probably somewhat close to IRL. Add to the fact that I have contacted a good number of you offline for awhile - Mike, Boar, EF, Tree etc.

I find it strange that someone would try to pin me to the above traits, I'm wondering if I ran enough benefit races, volunteered enough at museums, shelters, charities and dontations over the recent years - granted I don't talk about these things, since my religious influences make me want to "give with one hand so that the other hand doesn't notice"

This year, I've run a race to raise a little money for a certain disease, participated in a social benefit activity against domestic violence and worked for a food drive all while actively serving my country, with little free time. These things were done on my own and off duty. Granted, I like to go out and have fun too.

With the year end approaching, I think its good to do a little reflection. This is the first time for me to sit down and really list the things I've done for the betterment of other

I guess if others don't see it, it doesn't count? or does it?

What difference does it make? You do what you do because you enjoy it, and because you want to contribute to your community. I run the Atlanta chapter of a not-for-profit organization that many people disagree with morally because (among other things) we distribute free condoms. I don't really give a damn though because I get to see the direct benefits happen while I work. If what you're doing matters to you some people will put you down for it, but others will respect you even more. As long as you're willing to stand by what you're doing your detractors shouldn't matter.

[jubaji]

In other words, screw what other people think. I agree.

[Uke]

So do we measure a man by his words or his actions? Do we measure him by both - do they coorelate?

You don't measure. Even religious nut jobs are taught not to judge even though they do at every turn. Measuring and judging are the same thing.

Even if you measure a man by both his words and deeds it won't be accurate because a man is the sum of EVERYTHING he does, feels thinks, wants.

What if we found out now that Mother Theresa was a child molester? Or if we found out that Bill Clinton was a member of the KKK? Or that Martin Luther King used to beat Coretta Scott King regularly while high on dope? Or that Ghandi ran a child prostitution ring?

We measure these figures by what we know of them, not by the sum total of who they were. The kicker is that WE WILL NEVER KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT THEM.

Truth is if someone who knows you well called you those things it might be worth self reflecting. In all honesty self reflection is a healthy thing. Its good to know how you're being perceived and it gives us all a chance to grow and weigh what's important to us.

But like Tant01 said, consider the source. If its someone who has been waiting to take a jab at you then its nothing. If its someone who you've rubbed the wrong way then its worth a healthy look in the mirror.

[GQchris]

I think your heart's in the right place; and you've raised an awareness in me to do a lot more than I have been doing, I want to live a less self centered life.

[jubaji]

I think your heart's in the right place; and you've raised an awareness in me to do a lot more than I have been doing, I want to live a less self centered life.

Oh man...it's all about you...

[Tom Yum]

I think your heart's in the right place; and you've raised an awareness in me to do a lot more than I have been doing, I want to live a less self centered life.

Thanks, Chris.

In addition to general detractors, I take heat from those who think my volunteerism is driven by an agenda.

They are more time consuming and capital depreciating than any type of activity one could partake and I don't take tax breaks - the same individuals then argue that I'm 'stupid' for not taking advantage of this so in some point of view I'm self-centered by participating in low-key, selfless volunteerism and stupid for not taking advantage of them but its still not a detractor.

The only agenda I can think of is to help others who cannot help themselves and pass it on - that is a true source of pleasure.

On the other hand, the professional-related hobbies are things that I use to invest in myself but a few of them still benefit others.

I would like to see how others improve the world around them and themselves for more sources of inspiration.

[jubaji]

I take heat from those who think my volunteerism is driven by an agenda.

Isn't all volunteerism driven by an agenda?

[Tom Yum]

Isn't all volunteerism driven by an agenda?

I'm not even getting into semantics of anything with you