scared in real life situations,help!

[MilkAndInnards]

That's funny, I've sometimes had a dream that I have to fight, and when I punch I get no power, they barely feel my punches, and also I move very slow.

I hate that dream. It use to annoy me.

But then I had my first Muay Thai fight, and realised that I can hurt someone enough with my fists. I never had that dream again

[remy]

deleted post

[lorenzodamarith]

hello,

spudman300. you are spending too much time worrying about things you need not focus on.

if you are picking fights, or seeking them, shame on you. you are wrong.

if you are not, just pay it no mind.

the fear is normal. anyone who tells you it will go away at some point doesn't know what they are talking about. at best, you can be conditioned to function is spite of it. without it? not likely.

as far as the dreamstuff (slow motion and such). not going to get into a protracted explaination, but dreams stem from the irrational brain. not the logical brain. obviously, you dream about things you know (at least partially). however, the outcomes are often unexpected.

punching in slow motion or landing with no force might be manifestations of several things.

you have never punched anyone in a real fight, so your mind doesn't "know what that punch feels like".

your nature does not support harming others.

you are experiencing failure or lack of fulfillment in other aspect(s) of your life (you might not be consciously aware) and your mind is demonstrating failure through imagery you are familiar with.

very broad stuff here. but the essential point is this.

just train, you will fight if you must. don't seek it or push it. if you don't enjoy what you are doing, or it is unfulfilling, seek other pastimes.

thanks.

[Insomniac]

That's funny, I've sometimes had a dream that I have to fight, and when I punch I get no power, they barely feel my punches, and also I move very slow.

It's funny that you should say that because I've had recuring dreams of attacking people, getting them on the floor, getting on top of them, and punching their face repeatedly, only, when I punch, It's like I'm punching under water...The punches start off hard, and i can feel the strain in my upper arm, and then when the punches come to land, they slow down so much that it barely touches them

[GQchris]

Ben,
You're experiencing extraordinarily common physical effects of stress. Usually, they include -
1. Dry Mouth
2. Auditory Exclusion. You stop hearing a lot of what's going on around you. When I was a soldier doing indoor close quarters battle, i'd often be surprised that I could hear my team mates, but I couldn't remember hearing the reports of the full auto machinegun bursts going off all around me.
3. Tunnel Vision. You tend ot focus in on what you think is a threat, to the exclusion of all else. Most often, this is why people fail to deal well with sucker punches and multiple attackers.
4. Shallow breathing. You breathe shallow and quick.
5. "Prey" alertness. Your eyes go wide, and you have trouble comprehending why this is all happening to you.
6. Shakes. For me, it's in the knees, but basically, your whole body is trying to burn off adrenaline. Since you're usually standing there frozen in place, your muscles tremble to stay moving. Just like when you're cold and you shake to keep warm.
7. Heavy Limbs. If you don't move soon, you'll freeze.
8. Gross motor skill improvement, fine motor skill deterioration. Your hands will go clammy because circulation prioritizes oxygen to the larger muscle groups used for things like running away from danger. Thus, gross motor skills (those using big muscle groups and fairly generic mechanics) work better under pressure, which is why you feel more powerful. You are indeed more powerful with these types of motions. On the contrary, fine motor skills requiring more dexterity and precision are nearly out of the question as the blood supply simply doesn't support it.
9. Nerve deadness. Your body knows when pain/damage is imminent, and it releases mass quantities of endorphins to kill your perception of pain. You'll get hit, kicked, even stabbed and never know it happened until the next day. This is particularly true in the extremities.
10. Warped time perception. Fear brings out the primitive brains more cognitive abilities. You're not really slowing down time, but processing much more detailed information about your situation. Skydivers often talk about how long their freefall feels. It's because plummetting toward the earth at 120 miles an hour is a scary thing, no matter how comfortable you get with it, and your imnnermost mind is trying to figure a way out of danger. When your chute opens and you glide safely to the ground, you still get the benefit of all those endorphins I mentioned, so you feel a little numb and "high."

Bottom line is, these are human reactions to danger. They aren't of themselves symptoms of fear, but anxiety. You should expect to be afraid in situations like this, and you should train in such a way that brings out these danger reactions in you so you can condition yourself for what to expect. Facing fear is simply a matter of training to be brave for a few seconds longer than the other man. And if you can't be brave? Pretend you are. No one can tell the difference.

Best of luck to you.

Mike

I really appreciate all your input Mike; by the way what branch of service were you in?

[fermento]

Alright, I definetly get what ur saying, and my point was that the more you fight, the less fear you have.

fear in a fight reflects merely your subconcious confidence in your own abilities.

[47MartialMan]

Alright, I definetly get what ur saying, and my point was that the more you fight, the less fear you have.

Ok-that sounds better.

However, I know a few people the more they fight-the greater their fear.

[47MartialMan]

1.)Look, everyone, including fighters who fight on a regular bases feel fear.

Ok-This you establish.

2.)I know, because all the fights i ve had(uncontroled and controled) I get nervous and anxious.

So, you said from 1.) that fighters feel fear. And you state that you know because you get nervous and anxious.
So is it;
A-that fighters, and you (from your knowledge), feel fear.

B-that fighters, and you (from your knowledge), nervous and anxious.

C- Nervous and anxious are a part or re-wording that there is fear.


Stop contradicting yourself and twisting words-either you have fear or don't. It is not weak to have this emotion.

3.) But i dont get scared or frightened of fighting, because ive become accustomed to this and im confident in my abilities, I know they work, because Ive made them work.

But YOU do get frightened. Not so much the lack of ability. Not so much as deep as a phobia. But the foundation of fear is nervous and anxious-
FEAR;
A)A feeling of agitation and anxiety caused by a stimulation- ex: the presence or imminence of danger.
B)A state or condition marked by this feeling: living in fear.
C)A feeling of disquiet or apprehension: a fear of looking foolish.
D)Extreme reverence or awe, as toward a supreme power.
E)A reason for dread or apprehension:

4.) Listen, the more you are in a fighting situation, for example, a boxing ring, wrestling mat, or MMA fight then you will feel more comfortable with your fighting abilities.

BUT, THIS WOULD NOT COMPLETELY SUPRESS THE EMOTION OF FEAR. IT will however, supress some of it.

5.)Do a fighting MA like Muay Thai or boxing, and youll need to know some grappling, if you dont, then you shouldnt be fighting.

Fighting tactics is not a issue of fear. Skills from one tactic to another will not supress fear.

So stop with the macho BS and realize every individual has fear. We wouldn't be human without it.

[47MartialMan]

Fear.....everyone has a fear/phobia of something.

Facing the fear is another.

Some may never accept or overcome their fears.

Words and advice can be posted forever.

It lies within the individual

[Timberwolf]

I understand.

since we are share are fear's ... i know this migth sound or feel kind of weird but i have this something its not quite a fear ... i am afraid of hitting to hard :S cause i always have more strength and hitting harder in a fight or just playing with friends, and i just hurt them so i was keep thinking to my self to be carefuly :S but in a real fight i just keep it control, if your affraid of getting hit think of a thing that realy upsets you and then just unleash your angry, or take the first hit that works for me, but fight only when its realy necessary i have escape from some wope ass just by talking and "playing along"

For quite a while I had the same fear. Some people just naturally have an attribute of unmidigated strength. One way I learned to deal with not being able to control my strength was to begin working more around slow technique work. What this does is cause you to pull your punches more in training. This eventually allows more control and variance in power in your striking.

[foofies]

I have the same problem..So I asked my instructor once he admited that he get the same thing in real life fighting. And said this is completely normal as long as it doesnt affect ur thinking. this is your adrenaline kicking in, and is perfectly natural !! infact the adreanaline well help you to defend your self.

Read this you will now wot i mean

http://www.nononsenseselfdefense.com/fear.htm

The gift of fear is nice book

[fanman.]

wtf????????????????????????????????????????????????

Oh, I get it now. You have to read over it carefully a few times, but once you've done that, you find that it really is quite deep and insightful.

[fanman.]

You must be 13!!

Hear this- "Black and White do not mix."(unsure).

--> don't pick fight's!

You either fight, or practise self defense. Which mean's...[your interpretation].

wtf????????????????????????????????????????????????

[JFG]

That's funny, I've sometimes had a dream that I have to fight, and when I punch I get no power, they barely feel my punches, and also I move very slow.

That's really freaky. I'm a boxer and I've had the exact same dream on a few occasions. I'm actually considered to be a hard puncher. But in my dream, my punches are often really slow and do absolutely nothing to my opponent.

Pretty weird!

[DeSousa]

since we are share are fear's ... i know this migth sound or feel kind of weird but i have this something its not quite a fear ... i am afraid of hitting to hard :S cause i always have more strength and hitting harder in a fight or just playing with friends, and i just hurt them so i was keep thinking to my self to be carefuly :S but in a real fight i just keep it control, if your affraid of getting hit think of a thing that realy upsets you and then just unleash your angry, or take the first hit that works for me, but fight only when its realy necessary i have escape from some wope ass just by talking and "playing along"