Please Can someone advise me and help me

[holyman]

I have come to the point in my life where I am getting really angry and upset.

I have been a complete failure with women. I have a few drinks then go out and chat to women. Next day I sms them to ask if its ok to chat and they ignore me and dont get back to me. I havent had a girlfriend yet and its p*ssing me off.

Why don't they reply to my sms's ?. What is wrong with me i am not bad looking bloke.

I also tried to make friends and lent £15, 000 to someone i thought was a friend he has ran off with the f**king money. I have been taken for a ride. People just make fun of me.

This morning I woke up after getting drunk last night and finally looked the world in the eye and thought what the f**k is going on in my life.

Thought martial arts would help improve my life but it doesnt.

I dont know some days I feel like commiting suicide. I am crying at the moment all i want is someone to talk too. Sorry i leave so many messages but I just want to chat and be part of a group in this community.

[HtTKar]

obvously the alcohol is not helping you. It's not helping your martial art skills either. I'm not sure what sms is, i figure its Instant messaging. Why bother? You went out, had a good time, why are you trying to call them or talk to them? There not going anywhere, and if they had a good time, they will get a hold of you some time in the future. So dont worry about it.

You gotta play the field. Stop drinking. Go on a lot of dates, and dont worry about whether they like you or not. Worry about what you like. The more dates you go on the better you'll get, just like in martial arts. Surely you cant expect someone to want to hang with you all the time if your drinking, depressed, and suicidal. I think you need to look at whats going on and see what's important. There is always something important, whether you've explored that or not. You need to build up your self-esteem. then women will be More attracted to you.

The best way to get tons of women attracted to you......get a girlfriend. She'll drag you in, cut your nose hair, brush your teeth, clean you up and make you wear nice clothes..all of a sudden you'll have to drive women away...
And once you dont have a girlfriend, not one woman in the whole world will want you anymore.
It's that way for everybody.

So thats the drinking and the ladies. As for loaning people money. That's what happens when you do people favors. Better to lose a friend the easy way (Money) then one of the multiple other ways that people who pretend to be your friends are lost. The money was worth it. It was only a token reinforcer anyway.

Martial Arts alone cannot improve your life, anymore than it could make your life worse. You have to strive for improvement in everything you do, Efficiency and Perfection, everyday, to no end. People are readily led astray and forget, if this is not reinforced constantly.

[IPON]

I have been a complete failure with women. I have a few drinks then go out and chat to women. Next day I sms them to ask if its ok to chat and they ignore me and dont get back to me. I havent had a girlfriend yet and its p*ssing me off.

Simple...you need to try men, women and domesticated animals. I am sure your chances of getting a date will improve dramatically


Jus in case this post has .08% truth to it. I think yuou need to see a counselor (psychologist/psychiatrist) to discuss these issues not a messsage board. Nothing is worth committing suicide "holyman". Now you may need some anitdepressant therpy to get past this ideation and that's OK if you want to be healthy...don't attach a stigma of "going to the shrink means I'm crazy" it is no different than going to a doctor for any problem (and a psychiatrist is a medical doctor).

[IronFist]

I feel for you buddy. I know because I have been there.

First of all you got to remember that women are just icing on the cake. OK so they never called you back, so who gives a toss ?. Its there loss at the end of the day and besides they are probably not worth chasing
anyway.

Have your tried joining salsa, yoga, pilates classes in your area ?. These are great places for meeting women.

As to lending your friend 15 grand. Wasnt that a bit naive of you ?

Well anyway dont hesistate when it comes to leaving messages on this forum. I think this is the first sensible post I have seen from you . All the members on this forum are generally nice people and are more then willing, to offer advice on self improvement.

Simple...you need to try men, women and domesticated animals. I am sure your chances of getting a date will improve dramatically


Jus in case this post has .08% truth to it. I think yuou need to see a counselor (psychologist/psychiatrist) to discuss these issues not a messsage board. Nothing is worth committing suicide "holyman". Now you may need some anitdepressant therpy to get past this ideation and that's OK if you want to be healthy...don't attach a stigma of "going to the shrink means I'm crazy" it is no different than going to a doctor for any problem (and a psychiatrist is a medical doctor).

[holyman]

I lent him money because I thought he was a good friend.

I dont understand why other men get so many women and I cant get one. What am I doing wrong ?. Why are women so cruel.

I feel for you buddy. I know because I have been there.

First of all you got to remember that women are just icing on the cake. OK so they never called you back, so who gives a toss ?. Its there loss at the end of the day and besides they are probably not worth chasing
anyway.

Have your tried joining salsa, yoga, pilates classes in your area ?. These are great places for meeting women.

As to lending your friend 15 grand. Wasnt that a bit naive of you ?

Well anyway dont hesistate when it comes to leaving messages on this forum. I think this is the first sensible post I have seen from you . All the members on this forum are generally nice people and are more then willing, to offer advice on self improvement.

[cakegirl]

You get what you give.

If you go out thinking "I am hopeless with women, and women don't like me", the sort of women you're going to meet are going to be the ones that reinforce those ideas.

If you've got money (and if you had £15,000 to loan to someone, I'm assuming you do), look up Landmark Education in your area, and do their course. It should help you to recognise destructive patterns in your behaviour.

And, just to let you know, and maybe prevent you from pissing off more women...

Saying "Why are women so cruel" is about as fair as me saying "Why are all men rapists". Why? Because they're not. Some men are rapists, most are not. Some women are cruel, most are not.

[Tom Yum]

You get what you give.

True. Don't put all of your relationship aspirations and hopes immediately after you've met an interesting woman. That's a quick way to guarantee failure.

Just take care of yourself and the rest will take care of itself. Women can read into your eyes and into your personality quickly.

You make eye contact and if there's chemistry you're gonna know it right away. They can look into your eyes and know if you're comfortable with yourself.

If you try too hard and don't be yourself, you're gonna get rejected. If you've got "it" and you will know what "it" is when you've got it, she will be very responsive. "It" could be any number of things

[Ryu (JKD?)]

Another one of these threads from the same poster??

Why would you ask this question in a MMA forum?


There's no "trick" to having relationships.

You need to have maturity (physical, mental, financial, emotional) to really experience a true relationship.
Don't be in such a "rush" to get a girlfriend. That's the number 1 thing you should do if you want to chase people away.
Really, this isn't the place you'll find good advice on this subject. If you're for real you should speak with someone you trust on the issue. It seems you have a very low self-image of yourself. That's not healthy for you.

Encourage positive and healthy activities in your life.
Take pride in goals and ambitions and push yourself to achieve different goals.
Never use negative "self-talk."
Have a hobby that you love and is worthwhile to you (and healthy).
Treat women with dignity and respect (even the ones you don't think deserve it.)
Meet women who are positive, self-motivated, sophisticated, and strong.

The rest will fall into place.
Don't be in such a hurry. I know it sounds cliche', but it's really the most important lesson you can learn.

[Ryu (JKD?)]

I may be inviting disaster....

But if you are truly having the feelings you are, shoot me an IM.

[DJColdfusion]

You will not find a solution here. Please find a mental health professional who can actully aid you. You, as do many of us, need counseling.

[koto_ryu]

http://www.consciousloving.com/forums/

There ya go, a relationship forum to talk on. Now, let's all go back to talking about flipping out and killing people because we're all so totally sweet

[SOCOMSASGsG9]

hey dude, i know what your going through. except the getting drunk part, im too young to drink. but definitly stop drinking. thats the worst thing you can do.

secondly, martial arts will not fix your life. they can help take your mind off things, but they wont solve any problems.

also, girls are not everything. ive been chick-less for easily over a year and im fine. really, its the girls loss, not yours. dont sweat not having a girl.

third, dude, i dont know if youve done this yet, but ill tell you a martial arts forum isnt the place to complain about missing money. have you tried the police? get his name, where he has worked, his parents name, anything, and take it to the cops. and if you have already, you can probably count on getting that money back. in the future, dont be as trusting. i never lend out more than 10 bucks to people. if they need 15 g's they can talk to the bank.

also, i dont wanna sound like a preacher, but it might be time for you to take a hard look at your chosen religion. do some research, talk to people. an active faith can make alot of difference, and if you wanna talk, ill tell you about mine.

lastly, nothing in life is worth killing yourself for. period.

good luck man.

[EmptyneSs]

holyman i dont know if u noticed, but most chicks out their dont have cool bf's. most chicks i see have the biggest douchebags for bf's its rediculous. yeah its frustrating, but if u notice most chicks bf's are wiggers,assholes, metrosexuals, or sugar daddys. sure u see a girl who has a normal chill bf sometimes, but the majority of women have douchebag bf's, and thats why they are always complaining about how they always end up dating dicks.

ok so u havent had any success with the ladies despite trying hard. u need to give it a rest bro, and start focusing on other things. alot of other people have posted saying the same thing, focus on other things. start working out more, train harder, and persue other things u enjoy. eventually u will come across a girl who takes a liking to u and wants to be with u. it will come when u least expect it.

and if not, its ok bro because we all die eventually.

[Tom Yum]

holyman i dont know if u noticed, but most chicks out their dont have cool bf's. most chicks i see have the biggest douchebags for bf's its rediculous. yeah its frustrating, but if u notice most chicks bf's are wiggers,assholes, metrosexuals, or sugar daddys. sure u see a girl who has a normal chill bf sometimes, but the majority of women have douchebag bf's, and thats why they are always complaining about how they always end up dating dicks.

I'm noticing a pattern here, but I can't speak from experience. Seems like women that you guys r talkin about like the chase, the challenge, the bad guy, the drama.

The unfortunate truth is that women don't date nice guys, but maybe a few do. The idea of newness and excitement might be a strong attraction. heck, guys r like that too so you can't say its all women.

Keep in mind that dating and relationships are 2 completely different things and don't necessary mean the same thing.

[SOCOMSASGsG9]

nice guys always finish last.

but that doesn mean you should stop being a nice guy.