scared in real life situations,help!

[7yearsjudoka]

I try to be wise and follow my own advice but many times I have not followed it. I cannot deny that I enjoy to fight. But I also cannot deny the fact that when I do fight I am merciful. I have had only 1 real fight and I have only ever once given somebody a black eye. Although I enjoy fights I also try quite hard to avoid them unless I feel I really do need to fight.

I think most people need to realise (I admit I stumble here sometimes) a fight is not about reclaiming or getting honour or respect. It's about defending yourself or somebody else from a dangerous situation. I think many people stumble on that and therefore have a warped idea of justifiable force depending on the situation. Or they do not apply the concept of justifiable force to all situations.

[Timberwolf]

Quite intelligent remarks being made.

7yearsjudoka, I have trained in Muay Thai for five years. The entire time I was training I was learning flexibility in my skill. this meaning tournament fighting must be readjusted if it is necessary to be used on the streets. I have had few fights outside of organized tournament but every one of those fights were bloody and a possibility of losing one's life. I like your idealistic viewpoint of minimal force and I agree some cases it may be possible, but if an atacker has a purpose minimal will very rarely be good enough to subdue the wild flame. You are quite wise friend!

[7yearsjudoka]

Actually...

At your age, all that happens in a fight is a black eye, swollen lip, and a bloody nose. You're still made out of cartilage. When you get older, you wont be pulling punches. A person is much stronger and much more dangerous than a glass jar.

Now who are you to yell at us about keeping restrained? Sounds like you just couldn't help yourself.

It all depends on the situation. I know several martial artists through my Judo club and I also my mother and they all hold different views on force. My Mother says that she would do "whatever it took" to subdue an attacker if the situation arose, but she also knows several methods of using minimal force to subdue somebody. She wouldn't need to use "all her strength" in many situations and neither would many experienced martial artists." I accept that you are annoyed that a 13 year old is sharing something that you disagree with, but in future why not tell me without insulting me or diminishing from the good points I have made, though in your eyes they may be minimal?

Thank You

Hugo Dewar

[7yearsjudoka]

AHHH from the mouths of babes. The fact of the matter is the young man is right and for a 13 year old...I commend him on a well stated point (with the exception of the glass jar analogy - but they'll get better as you get older.

Actually sharks are made entirely of cartilage - we have a skeletal structure but anyway - the point being that he's right.

Your abilities as a martial artist come with responsibility (which should be conveyed with proper instruction). However, this doesn't mean let people walk on you but knowing when and when not to fight. If you don't learn to "pull back" then one becomes nothing more than a thug who knows how to fight.

I am older and I have been plenty of fights and avoided even more.

Again, young man continue on that path you are on the right track. It's nice to see some of our youth today understands.

I thank you for acknowledging my posts in a respectful way. I agree with what you have said also. I now have re-read my posts and I realise that yes the jar analogy was incredibly weak.

[djcaldwell]

At your age, all that happens in a fight is a black eye, swollen lip, and a bloody nose. You're still made out of cartilage. When you get older, you wont be pulling punches. A person is much stronger and much more dangerous than a glass jar.

Now who are you to yell at us about keeping restrained? Sounds like you just couldn't help yourself.

AHHH from the mouths of babes. The fact of the matter is the young man is right and for a 13 year old...I commend him on a well stated point (with the exception of the glass jar analogy - but they'll get better as you get older.

Actually sharks are made entirely of cartilage - we have a skeletal structure but anyway - the point being that he's right.

Your abilities as a martial artist come with responsibility (which should be conveyed with proper instruction). However, this doesn't mean let people walk on you but knowing when and when not to fight. If you don't learn to "pull back" then one becomes nothing more than a thug who knows how to fight.

I am older and I have been plenty of fights and avoided even more.

Again, young man continue on that path you are on the right track. It's nice to see some of our youth today understands.

[HtTKar]

You guys sound like your martial arts training has not taught you control. All this talk about kicking people's asses. It's uneccessary. What do you have to prove to us? If somebody aggravates me enough I will fight them but please show some restraint when the offence is minor. I always pull my punches. Ever since I learned that I had enough strength to break a glass jar simply by putting it down to hard. I related that to the outside worlds and now I punch at 3/4 strength or speed. I'm 13 and I have learned this much. You all have great potential.

At your age, all that happens in a fight is a black eye, swollen lip, and a bloody nose. You're still made out of cartilage. When you get older, you wont be pulling punches. A person is much stronger and much more dangerous than a glass jar.

Now who are you to yell at us about keeping restrained? Sounds like you just couldn't help yourself.

[7yearsjudoka]

Not Acceptable

You guys sound like your martial arts training has not taught you control. All this talk about kicking people's asses. It's uneccessary. What do you have to prove to us? If somebody aggravates me enough I will fight them but please show some restraint when the offence is minor. I always pull my punches. Ever since I learned that I had enough strength to break a glass jar simply by putting it down to hard. I related that to the outside worlds and now I punch at 3/4 strength or speed. I'm 13 and I have learned this much. You all have great potential.

Yours with respect

Hugo Dewar



God Bless you all

[HtTKar]

Where can I get a copy of this book? Amazon doesn't have it, neither does Borders or Barnes and Noble.

Go to his website. You can read most of the stuff there for free.

http://www.geoffthompson.com/

Also for more information on this, check out the sticky threads on the senshido forum. Both sites have information in dealing with the adrenaline dump.

[Timberwolf]

i dunno if any1 has put this threat up but anyway help would be appricated,
im gettin above good at martial arts now and as my instrutor says "im way above the standard" and he's 5th dan,so i believe him,its just when it comes tp real life fights i find it hard to concentrate and some times it feels like my limbs start to ache,i no that puts a real funny images of a lad wid wobly limbs in a fight but it true,one more thing even thou this happens i still manage to hit hard and often...im i sum kind of freak wid slow mo powers......yea rite

please reply ,ben

Heres a trick friend, don't try to concentrate. If you train your techniques to reflex you will be able to react with out concentration. block out outside interference but think not of concentration.

[djcaldwell]

Everyone gets those jitters as was pointed out and doesn't need to be reitterated again. But the points to overcoming them in a real time situation should be. To any fight there are always several factors 1) mental state 2) physical ability (including skill) 3) Intent.

1) If you go into any fight sparring, boxing match or real life allowing the notion to be in your mind that you "may lose" then you have already lost. I'm not saying that if you go in uber confident in yourself that you will win but the fact is that if you have little confidence you WILL LOSE.

2) Physical state by this I mean your skill level - I've seen big guys get dropped and I've also seen little guys get tossed up against bar walls so... If as someone pointed out you work your skills until they are second nature the fact of the matter is you won't have to think about what you will do...it just happens. That's when you know you are on your way to being an accomplished martial artist. Honestly some of the coolest most effective things I have ever done have not been intentially though out - they just flowed from me. It's not bull---t. You MUST spar and not like a mary boy - don't kill each other but take a hit - get the feel so that you can be confident in yourself. If you don't feel nervous when sparring it's because you know you are not in a threatening situation - so up the stakes - hit harder. Learn that there are no fool proof techiniques either strikes are thrown effectively you get hit because you didn't block and learn from it. It's the only way to overcome. Read whatever you want, get the most inspirational speach of your life -if you have little to no confidence in your skills and ability then you don't stand a chance.

3) Intent - you have to know when to walk away. If you feel that you are about to battle a sociopath who will sooner drink your blood then smile at you - you may want to walk away - really fast. If you are not a fighter and obviously are unable to establishe that intent to do damage if necessary then unless you are backed into a proverbial corner - try to diffuse the situation and get out of there. Real brawlers, thug types have intent, to hurt you with no loss of sleep so unless you have that same then you need to think twice. Self preservation unfortunately hasn't always provent effective enough motivation when up against a lunatic.

Bottom line on my soapbox lecture is once you have that confidence and know that if this guy messes with you, you'll wipe the floor with him...it is so much easier to walk away from the situation. That is what your training should be about - the actual fight should be the last resort.

Good Luck.

[GQchris]

That book Fear by Geoff Thompson

Where can I get a copy of this book? Amazon doesn't have it, neither does Borders or Barnes and Noble.

[GonzoStyles]

BREATHE! focus on your breathing in through the nose out through the mouth like you should have been taught by now if your trainer is worth his salt. if you feel frozen like you cant make a move remember to exhale as you exert force. this not only seems to help you focus your power it also locks down your abdomen muscles bracing you for an impact. almost all fighting arts have an exhalation technique to help with striking from the "ISHHHHH" of the Muay Thai boxer to the "KIAP" of the Karateka. Listen to a boxing match and hear the fighters exhaling with each strike/s. try and keep your tongue pressed to the roof of your mouth (so you dont bite it off) and your jaw set firm but not grinding it. thats just my two cents.

[Streetprince]

funny i get this as well. like when im about to skict on a car illigaly and when even someone gets in my face at a bar or party. it the same feeling i usly try to just avoid the situation but then afterward im like "i shoulda atleast tryed to kick his ass but. but im afraid of weopens beig pulled. and also i dont get this when i spar. i guess im not realy sparing then.

[Ninjoe]

Hey man,

whatever you believe will happen (except in politics).

[SamuraiGuy]

Whatever works DAWG.... learned that trick in the G-H-E-T-T-O.

lol....

actually his reasoing was that holyfield was fouling him alot, and the ref wouldnt do anything about it, so he "took it back to the streets"... haha. He actually said he took it back to the streets.